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Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree?

Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. v. 3
the sport shows visualized on-screen are influenced youngsters for their healthy lifestyle. whilst, others do not like to do physical activity. well in my opinion body fitness is much aroused by Olympics games. to illustrate the point Olympics games are te part of young builders and they also play a motivational role for campus learners through inspiring telecasted stories, where the sports developed the nation's growth as the am they make nation proud. apart from this, youngsters have aroused themselves toward the sports life to become healthy. for an instant, according to one survey 85% of youth inspired through watching sports shows and encourage themselves to jin sports. due to this, they live a healthy life ahead thus games programs boos the future generation for their better and healthy future. moving further, individuals who do not indulge themselves in physical activities often faced such problems likewise, most people go sik and youngsters are tend into the well of drugs. because of their unhealthy life, they do not do exercise routine wise. for instance, mostly elderly and adults are not performed in such games because of their busy schedule. that is why 75% population live unhealthy life and go sick rapidly. hene, unhealthy lifestyle is also a stumbling block in unhealthy life. in conclusion, sports are much influenced to youth through to screen telecasing hows. as ell as, olmpics game also inspire future generation for their achieve goals which make them proudly as well as healthy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
visualized on-screen
are influenced
youngsters for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whilst
, others do not like to do physical activity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
in my opinion body fitness is much aroused by Olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
illustrate the point Olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
te
part of young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
builders and
they
also
play a motivational role for campus learners through inspiring
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
stories, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
developed the nation's growth as the am they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
nation proud.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from this, youngsters have aroused themselves toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
an instant, according to one survey 85% of youth inspired through watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and encourage themselves to
Possible spelling mistake found.
jin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
ahead
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
programs boos the future generation for their better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
future.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moving
further
, individuals who do not indulge themselves in physical activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
faced such problems
likewise
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go
Possible spelling mistake found.
sik
and youngsters are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
into the well of drugs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they do not do exercise routine wise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance,
mostly
elderly and adults are not performed in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy schedule.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is why 75% population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and go sick
rapidly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hene
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle is
also
a stumbling block in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are much influenced to youth through to screen
Possible spelling mistake found.
telecasing
Possible spelling mistake found
hows
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
ell as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
olmpics
game
also
inspire future generation for their achieve goals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
proudly
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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