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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community instead of visiting people or talking with our family we jus watch television To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion v.9

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community instead of visiting people or talking with our family we jus watch television with this opinion v. 9
nowadays, more and more individuals are willing to watch televisions. it seems that television is an inevitable part of our lives. Although, there are number of drawbacks involved in watching multimedia channels, I, personally, believe that the benefits accruing to ones watching TVs are manifold. To begin with, watching television is a better alternative in this century. Simply put, in these era, there are more alternatives that can endanger families more than television. Take tablets and smartphones as an example; the more people are banned from watching televisions, the more they are tend to use their tablets and smartphones even in their own rooms which is likely to ruins family relationships sooner than TVs. Yet another compelling reason is, that by watching televisions there are more likely that individuals gather together and watch the favorite series with each other. That is to say, watching favorite series together, they are having more topics to talk about. Especially, teenagers feel a commonsense with their parents and more bound to share their feelings in this crucial part if their lives. To sum up, I can understand why some people are thinking that watching TV can take its toll on destroying families, but there are more valuable attributes by watching television for the ones.
nowadays
, more and more individuals are willing to
watch
televisions
.
it
seems that
television
is an inevitable part of our
lives
. Although, there are number of drawbacks involved in watching multimedia channels, I,
personally
, believe that the benefits accruing to
ones
watching TVs are manifold.

To
begin
with, watching
television
is a better alternative in this century.
Simply
put, in
these era
, there are more alternatives that can endanger families more than
television
. Take tablets and smartphones as an example; the more
people
are banned
from watching
televisions
, the more they are
tend
to
use
their tablets and smartphones even in their
own
rooms which is likely to ruins family relationships sooner than TVs.

Yet
another compelling reason is, that by watching
televisions
there are more likely that individuals gather together and
watch
the favorite series with each other.
That is
to say, watching favorite series together, they are having more topics to talk about.
Especially
,
teenagers
feel a commonsense with their parents and more bound to share their feelings in this crucial part if their
lives
.

To sum up, I can understand why
some
people
are thinking that watching TV can take its toll on destroying families,
but
there are more valuable attributes by watching
television
for the ones.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community instead of visiting people or talking with our family we jus watch television with this opinion v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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