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Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. v.2

Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. v. 2
It is true that various sporting occasions are prime times for many product companies to promote their goods to attract the mass audience. Though some people think, this process has an undesirable impact on public’s mind but in my opinion, it helps to get information about different kind of products and we can select the necessary one from these. The companies always look for the place to advertise themselves. For this reason, many billboards and posters are hanged beside the main areas of the streets. Most of the time, these are not noticed by the possible buyers. On the eve of any sporting occasions, game lovers get together in a single place to enjoy it and this moments are very precious for the advertisers. For instance, in a cricket stadium, the field is surrounded by publicizing papers which are generally noted by the spectators than other places. So, in short, audience’s detection is one the important issues for advertisers to endorse their items at the time of gaming. Moreover, a sporting event generally lasts for a day or a month. Corporations think it is very much cost effective for them. Because, it is sometimes found that rather than canvasing all around year, it is more fruitful to target certain time period to promote their goods. For instance, adidas company generally shows their advertisement at the time of live sports event and their target audience can be reached through this process rather than advertising here and there. On contrary, in television, when we enjoy a live sporting event, sometimes excessive ads can cause great problems by showing it frequently, specifically at time of the thrilling moments. In conclusion, consumer and cost minimization can be the reason for the various national and multinational firms to promote their product during the sporting events. Though, there are some drawbacks of it but I think it is wise to cope up with it, because most of the time these enterprises sponsor the occasions.
It is true that various sporting occasions are prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to attract the mass audience. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, this process has an undesirable impact on public’s mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
we can select the necessary one from these.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
always look for the place to advertise themselves.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
billboards and posters
are hanged
beside the main areas of the streets. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, these are not noticed by the possible buyers. On the eve of any sporting occasions, game lovers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in a single place to enjoy it and
Did you mean "these"?
this
moments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious for the advertisers.
For instance
, in a cricket stadium, the field
is surrounded
by publicizing papers which are
generally
noted by the spectators than other places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in short, audience’s detection is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues for advertisers to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
endorse
their items at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of gaming.

Moreover
, a sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
generally
lasts for a day or a month. Corporations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much cost effective for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
found that
rather
than canvasing all around year, it is more fruitful to target certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For instance
, adidas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their advertisement at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and their target audience can
be reached
through this process
rather
than advertising here and there.

On contrary, in television, when we enjoy a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
excessive ads can cause great problems by showing it
frequently
,
specifically
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the thrilling moments.

In conclusion
, consumer and cost minimization can be the reason for the various national and multinational firms to promote their product during the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Though, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is wise to cope up with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
these enterprises sponsor the occasions.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Major companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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