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Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 2
In the emergence of media and advertising many parents are complaining about the advertisers creating delusive commercials to lure their children, whereas companies are refraining to that claim. In my opine children are being mislead by the companies because there are many other ways children can get the knowledge. This essay will discuss how companies are adopting varied ways to reach to the children. Advertisement distorts reality and creates unrealistic expectations in children' s mind. In other words, companies use the imaginary content to persuade the child to buy their products. Despite the fact that it can be harmful to children, they do it just for the purpose of increasing their sell. For example, a well-known fast food chain McDonald in India, started giving a toy with their happy meal option to lure the children. Data shows that they have increased the sell of happy meal up to the large extent with this campaign. Although organisations argued giving knowledge to the children by adverts, they misuse the child psychology and modify the content to promote their product. They prevent showing product' s demerit in a subtle way that child' s mind can' t capture it. This issue was so prominent in the Unite States that president warned food companies about their advertisements owing to the fact that TV commercials of fast food and other high calorie foods are contributing to the increase rate of obesity in the children. In Conclusion, I agree to the fact that catchy promotions by some companies mislead the child to buy their products. In my opinion government should warn such companies and companies should also morally understand the ill-effects of such campaign on the society.
In the emergence of media and advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents are complaining about the advertisers creating delusive commercials to lure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are refraining to that claim. In my opine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are being mislead by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge. This essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are adopting varied ways to reach to the children.

Advertisement distorts reality and creates unrealistic expectations in
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s mind.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the imaginary content to persuade the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Despite the fact that it can be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the purpose of increasing their sell.
For example
, a well-known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain McDonald in India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving a toy with their happy meal option to lure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that they have increased the sell of happy meal up to the large extent with this campaign.

Although
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
argued giving knowledge to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by adverts, they misuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychology and modify the content to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
showing
Possible spelling mistake found.
product&
#039; s demerit
Consider replacing "in a subtle way" with the adverb for "subtle"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a subtle way
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s mind
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t capture it. This issue was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prominent in the Unite States that president warned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
about their advertisements owing to the fact that TV commercials of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and other high calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are contributing to the increase rate of obesity in the children.

In Conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that catchy promotions by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
mislead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In my opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should warn such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
also
morally
understand the ill-effects of such campaign on the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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