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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. with this opinion? v. 1
Ever since it became a core part of family life nearly 70 years ago, television usage has been the target of a variety of attacks. While some people have focused on the physical or mental effects, one particular popular argument is that TV is decimating our sense of family and community since it discourages communication. I strongly agree with this argument. On the one hand, there is little doubt that in moderation, TV can keep or even strengthen social connections as people can use it as a common topic to talk about. Unfortunately, televisions are rarely watched in moderation, which means its effects on social relationships are most often highly negative. Rather than spending an evening socializing or doing some other social activity, the average family watches three hours of TV. This adds up to twenty-one hours over the course of a week, which is nearly an entire day’s worth of time in front of the screens that could have been spent interacting with family members or community. It is also possible to see the detrimental effects of TV usage by comparing it to other potential alternative activities like outdoor activities or even board games. Similar to TV sets, these activities are primarily for entertainment purposes. However, both outdoor activities and board games tend to be incredibly social and are almost an antithesis to quiet TV time. Thus, not only do we spend a long time watching television on average, but it is replacing more social forms of entertainment that would be better at building relationships. Overall, I believe that the attacks on TV for damaging our social relations are justified. The average family spends an extremely large amount of time watching TV instead of participating in social activities. If we want to preserve our family and community bonds better in the future, we had better start searching for ways to reduce our television time.
Ever since it became a core part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life
nearly
70 years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
usage has been the target of a variety of attacks. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have focused on the physical or mental effects, one particular popular argument is that TV is decimating our sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and community since it discourages communication. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument.

On the one hand, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
doubt that in moderation, TV can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
or even strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
connections as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a common topic to talk about. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
are rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in moderation, which means its effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationships are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Rather
than spending an evening socializing or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
three hours of TV. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to twenty-one hours over the course of a week, which is
nearly
an entire day’s worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the screens that could have
been spent
interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or community.

It is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the detrimental effects of TV usage by comparing it to other potential alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or even board games. Similar to TV sets, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
primarily
for entertainment purposes.
However
, both outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and board games tend to be
incredibly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and are almost an antithesis to quiet TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Thus
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do we spend a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on average,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is replacing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
forms of entertainment that would be better at building relationships.

Overall
, I believe that the attacks on TV for damaging our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations
are justified
. The average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
spends an
extremely
large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV
instead
of participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. If we want to preserve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and community bonds better in the future, we had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
searching for ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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