Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Television has dominated the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree v.1

Television has dominated the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. v. 1
Electronic screens are most often presented in the human life. Peoples' spare time occupying them with TV and isolate them from the outside world and healthy manner. This essay will describe a person's relationship with a machine and why I fully agree with it. It is often argued that the television should create a big impact on the human movement and communication with others. Although I agree that digital screens plays too much important role, while neglected oven health and socialization. On the one hand, the digitalisation definitely allocate a large part of peoples life. For example, any person can live without screens, but absence of fitness will create significant problems. That's why the people should adequately think of themselves in the first place, and should not be preoccupied with a machine. On the other hand, the television determines the overall quality of the life, since all information is an integral part of the society. Firstly, music, movies or politics can be used as an instrument for the communication and better socialization. Also, many fitness programs exist, which can motivate people to be more active and think on the own health. Moreover, if individuals can control oven occupation with television, then I disagree with these as a problem. To conclude, that agrees that the electronic screens should allocate less our time on such urgent needs to embrace society of such behaviour can develop negative impact on their overall well-being.
Electronic
screens
are most
often
presented in the human life. Peoples' spare time occupying them with TV and isolate them from the outside world and healthy manner. This essay will
describe
a person's relationship with a machine and why I
fully
agree
with it.

It is
often
argued that the television should create a
big
impact on the human movement and communication with others. Although I
agree
that digital
screens
plays too much
important
role, while neglected oven health and socialization. On the one hand, the
digitalisation
definitely allocate a large part of peoples life.
For example
, any person can
live
without
screens
,
but
absence of fitness will create significant problems. That's why the
people
should
adequately
think
of themselves in the
first
place, and should not
be preoccupied
with a machine.

On the other hand
, the television determines the
overall
quality of the life, since all information is an integral part of the society.
Firstly
, music, movies or politics can be
used
as an instrument for the communication and better socialization.
Also
,
many
fitness programs exist, which can motivate
people
to be more active and
think
on the
own
health.
Moreover
, if individuals can control oven occupation with television, then I disagree with these as a problem.

To conclude
, that
agrees
that the electronic
screens
should allocate less our time on such urgent needs to embrace society of such
behaviour
can develop
negative
impact on their
overall
well-being.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Television has dominated the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts