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Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1
Many people are addicted to watching television on their leisure time. However, people believe that watching TV can make them less active and un-socialize in their spare time. This essay will argue that why television plays vital role in the disengagement to loved ones and makes you more lazy. In my grandfather's era, people were very active and they were socialized to their family members as the invention of television was not effective. In that time period, after taking dinner, people used to go on a walk or meet their friends. Moreover, they can share their problems with their friends or family members to get the best solution and they can spend their leisure time watching movies, playing sports or biking, so that they cultivate their mood to recharge their body from the hectic schedule. Indeed, there have been recorded instances of people staying healthy when they spent their spare time with family members or friends. These few instances have proven why people are active and socialize because of not having television in their time zone. Contradictory, after an invention of television people are unable to communicate frequently for their loved ones. Moreover, after coming from the job, people used to sit beside the TV and they spent numerous time. Also, an increasing, watching TV may deteriorate their health problems such as eye fatigue or build up obesity. As a result, those who watch TV on daily basis may separate their world from fellow members and they can become mentally sick or go for depression. For example, scientifically proven that people who are addicted towards television can cause eye problem or become couch potato. Overall, an invention of television plays a vital role on ones hygiene and it can take them away from their social life. In conclusion, this essay argued that people who watches TV on a daily basis may cause health problem and it cannot make you socialize. In my opinion, if TV is watched in limited and time constrained manner, then all these negative effects can be eliminated.
Many
people
are addicted
to watching
television
on their leisure
time
.
However
,
people
believe that watching TV can
make
them less active and
un-socialize
in their spare
time
. This essay will argue that why
television
plays vital role in the disengagement to
loved
ones
and
makes
you more lazy.

In my grandfather's era,
people
were
very
active and
they
were socialized
to their family
members
as the invention of
television
was not effective. In that
time
period, after taking dinner,
people
used
to go on a walk or
meet
their friends.
Moreover
, they can share their
problems
with their friends or family
members
to
get
the best
solution and
they can spend their leisure
time
watching movies, playing sports or biking,
so
that they cultivate their mood to recharge their body from the hectic schedule.
Indeed
, there have
been recorded
instances of
people
staying healthy when they spent their spare
time
with family
members
or friends. These few instances have proven why
people
are active and socialize
because
of not having
television
in their
time
zone.

Contradictory, after an invention of
television
people
are unable to communicate
frequently
for their
loved
ones
.
Moreover
, after coming from the job,
people
used
to sit beside the
TV and
they spent numerous
time
.
Also
, an increasing, watching TV may deteriorate their health
problems
such as eye fatigue or build up obesity.
As a result
, those who
watch
TV on daily basis may separate their world from fellow
members and
they can become mentally sick or go for depression.
For example
,
scientifically
proven that
people
who
are addicted
towards
television
can cause eye
problem
or become couch potato.
Overall
, an invention of
television
plays a vital role on
ones
hygiene and it can take them away from their social life.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
people
who
watches
TV on a daily basis may cause health
problem
and it cannot
make
you socialize. In my opinion, if TV is
watched
in limited and
time
constrained manner, then all these
negative
effects can
be eliminated
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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