Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.14

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 14
Nowadays, there are some people in our society who likes to perform for the same company until the age of their retirement, while some individual has contrasting views as they think that it could be splendid if they are working in the different organisations. There are numerous reasons for why some people work for the same company. Firstly, the one thing which is more important in any work is job satisfaction. As long as they are getting this, they cannot think about any other firm. Secondly, salary is the next vital factor for doing a job in the same industry as we know in today's world everyone tries to get decent and well paid employment. In my country, the majority of individuals have been working in a government sector for more than five years because they are getting high wages per month and also experience job security. Last but not the least is interested in that particular organisation which bound a person in a specific company. On the other hand, there are some other people who kept changing their job throughout their working life as they strongly believe that doing work in a different the environment can enhance your real skill, talent, and technique. It is quite natural that if we do repetitive things for the years which can make us feel like monotonous and we are getting bored. Some studies have shown that if a persons doing work in a variety of firms, then he or she could discover himself or herself in the best possible way. To sum up, I think we should not stick to the one organisation in our entire life, but we should to work in a different surrounding, which can make us more efficient and flexible.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our society who likes to perform for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
until the age of their retirement, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual has contrasting views as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it could be splendid if they are working in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.

There are numerous reasons for why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Firstly
, the one thing which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. As long as they are getting this, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about any other firm.
Secondly
, salary is the
next
vital factor for doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the same industry as we know in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world everyone tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent and well paid employment. In my country, the majority of individuals have been working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector for more than five years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are getting high wages per month and
also
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least
is interested
in that particular
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which bound a person in a specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
changing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
throughout their working life as they
strongly
believe that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
the environment can enhance your real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, talent, and technique. It is quite natural that if we do repetitive things for the years which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
monotonous and
we are getting bored.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
studies have shown that if a persons doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a variety of firms, then he or she could discover himself or herself in the best possible way.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should not stick to the one
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
in our entire life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
surrounding, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us more efficient and flexible.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts