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Many historical sites and museums are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people to visit this historical sites and museums? v.1

Many historical sites and museums are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people to visit this historical sites and museums? v. 1
It is very good practice to visit new historical places and museums. This thing helps us to explore our knowledge. The museums and historical buildings always attract a large number of tourists. However, locals show little interest in them. I think, there are several reasons behind this trend and government can take a certain measures to encourage locals to visit such places. To begin with, the local people find it boring to visit these places. In other words, they are already familiar with their culture and history, so that's why, they think that, they would not get nothing by visiting the historical places. Adding to this, natives have an opinion, that they will waste their money and time by exploring new places. On the other hand, tourist have an aim of coming to a new place. They are eager to learn new things and always show interest in the museums and historical places. Because these places will help them to have a better understanding of the history and culture of the country in which they are visiting. Governments can take steps to convince local residents to attend museum and historic buildings. Firstly, the authorities can organise a cultural events and regular exhibitions at the historical places. Secondly, by offering free tickets and discount at the weekends, so that, low income and middle income families can visit, Thirdly, teachers can give assignments to students on historical places. So that, parents take their children to the historical Museums. This thing also helps them to excel in their studies. In conclusion, the historical places and museums are the heritage of every particular country. We get useful information and knowledge from them, but local people do not enjoy visiting such kind of places, whereas foreigners are always curious to learn more and more about their destination. The government can motivate locals to visit by conducting interesting programs and by offering free or subsidised entry.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. This thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to explore our knowledge. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
buildings always attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
tourists.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest in them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, there are several reasons behind this trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take a certain measures to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
such places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it boring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
In other words
, they are already familiar with their culture and history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that's why, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
nothing by visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Adding to this, natives have an opinion, that they will waste their money and time by exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
On the other hand
, tourist have an aim of coming to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. They are eager to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a better understanding of the history and culture of the country in which they are visiting.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can take steps to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and historic buildings.
Firstly
, the authorities can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and regular exhibitions at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Secondly
, by offering free tickets and discount at the weekends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, low income and middle income families can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
,
Thirdly
, teachers can give assignments to students on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, parents take their children to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
. This thing
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to excel in their studies.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are the heritage of every particular country. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
useful information and knowledge from them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not enjoy visiting such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, whereas foreigners are always curious to learn more and more about their destination. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
by conducting interesting programs and by offering free or
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
entry.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Many historical sites and museums are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people to visit this historical sites and museums? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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