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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. v. 1
In today's modern techniqually developed world, most of the people spending time infront of television's. It is thought by some people that television helps each individual in improving knowledge while other's think that it is killing free time of too may people, making them lazy and preventing them from socializing with others. I totally agree that televisions, tablets & other electronic entertinement devises wasting individuals time, making them lazy and not allowing them to meet nighbours, friends, relatives and others. Firstly, every person spends most of their day timein their professional life once after reaching home in the evening sits infront of television and becomes lazy in completing personal tasks. On the one hand each individual getting relaxed from stressfull job on the other hand individual could not concentrate and fulfill his personal life activities. For instance, a study describes that most of the divource cases are because of not spendng enough time with spouse. Another point is children are not taken care by their parents. On top of that, teachers in many schools and university's complain about students spend less time with parents. Moreover, unnecessary shopping is performed by looking into advertisements on television. Many people argue that by spending more time infront of television will make individual physically week and more impact of eyes. Secondly, because of spending too many hours watching TV many people could not able to make time to meet their relatives, friends & nighbours because of this it is impacting on socializing. Further more relations are not long lasting, communication between each others getting poor. Apart from that children's are not knowing their relatives & nighbours. As long as their is good socilizing then only a healthy sociaty can be built. For example, proplems in colony can sorted out when the people in colony get socialize. Finally, i strongly agree that spending more time on televisions, laptops, tablets, smart phones and other electronic devises are the reasons for becomming lazy and bringing far from social life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
techniqually
developed world, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of television's. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
in improving knowledge while other's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is killing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of too may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
and preventing them from socializing with others. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
, tablets &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertinement
devises wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
and not allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Possible spelling mistake found.
nighbours
, friends, relatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

Firstly
, every person spends most of their day
Possible spelling mistake found.
timein
their professional life once after reaching home in the evening sits
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
in completing personal tasks. On the one hand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
getting relaxed from
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressfull
job on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
could not concentrate and fulfill his personal life activities.
For instance
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
divource
cases are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendng
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with spouse. Another point is children are not taken care by their parents.
On top of that
, teachers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools and
Consider using the plural form here: "universitys".
university's
The word 'complain' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "complaint"?
complain
about students spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with parents.
Moreover
, unnecessary shopping
is performed
by looking into advertisements on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
physically
week and more impact of eyes.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relatives, friends &
Possible spelling mistake found.
nighbours
because of this
it is impacting on socializing.
Further
more relations are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
, communication between each others getting poor. Apart from that children's
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are not knowing
their relatives &
Possible spelling mistake found.
nighbours
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
long as
Did you mean "there"?
their
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
socilizing
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
can
be built
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
proplems
in colony can sorted out when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in colony
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
socialize.

Finally
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
, laptops, tablets, smart phones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
electronic devises are the reasons for
Possible spelling mistake found.
becomming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
and bringing far from social life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes

IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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