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Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v.2

Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v. 2
In the last couple of years, it has been observed that the children have started spending a huge amount of time watching the television as compared to the old days. There are a number of causes behind this trend such as improved and easy accessibility to the channels at much lower rental charges and much more. In this essay the reasons will be discussed and the remedies to fix this problem will also be highlighted. The foremost reason is the improved cable and dish facilities at a cheaper cost in the present era, making the availability of a vast channel option to the every household. Special cartoon channels are available these days, for example; cartoon network, Disney channel, and a lot of others, which broadcast the cartoons and the children shows 24/7. However, in the earlier days there used to be a fixed and short slot for the programs related to the youngsters. Secondly, from the very young age parents make their babies to sit in front of the television to divert their attention and keep them busy, but later on this develops as a permanent habit. Another reason is the reduced interest of the youth in the physical activities and sports and more inclination towards the virtual shows such as, Pokémon and Bheem and games like as PubG, Ludo and a many others. To overcome this situation, changes are required to be made from the very early stage. The parents should get their wards involved in sports and activities like book reading, painting, karate, etcetera that can develop their heath and intellect. The teenagers should be guided to take one game so as keep them focused and busy. This practice will also help in diverting their interest away from the television. Apart from this, a timetable should be designed for them to fix the timing for the usage of the electronic gadgets. In the conclusion, it can be said that although the improved technology has made a lot of new facilities available to every house these days, which has attracted a lot of people especially children towards it. But, this has a negative impact on them, which makes it a necessity to keep a check on its usage and limiting its accessibility.
In the last couple of years, it has
been observed
that the children have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending a huge amount of time watching the television as compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. There are a number of causes behind this trend such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and easy accessibility to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
at much lower rental charges and much more. In this essay the reasons will
be discussed
and the remedies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this problem will
also
be highlighted
.

The foremost reason is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
cable and dish facilities at a cheaper cost in the present era, making the availability of a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
option to the every household. Special cartoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are available these days,
for example
; cartoon network, Disney
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
others, which broadcast the cartoons and the children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
24/7.
However
, in the earlier days there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
and short slot for the programs related to the youngsters.
Secondly
, from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their babies to sit in front of the television to divert their attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them busy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later on this develops as a permanent habit. Another reason is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
interest of the youth in the physical activities and sports and more inclination towards the virtual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
such as, Pokémon and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bheem
and games like as
Possible spelling mistake found.
PubG
, Ludo and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.

To overcome this situation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are required
to
be made
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage. The parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their wards involved in sports and activities like book reading, painting, karate, etcetera that can develop their heath and intellect. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
be guided
to take one game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them focused and busy. This practice will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in diverting their interest away from the television. Apart from this, a timetable should
be designed
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the timing for the usage of the electronic gadgets.

In the conclusion, it can
be said
that although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
technology has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new facilities available to every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
these days, which has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
children towards it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a necessity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on its usage and limiting its accessibility.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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