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More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v.2

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2
Studying abroad has now become one of the most popular culture in some countries. Pupil these days prefer to migrate in colleges located in other countries for their studies, may be because of the advancement of the content used for teaching in order to learn enhanced courses available there and it also results in their bright future. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and show that, indeed, this movement is superior to studies performed in earlier days by being there in their own country. There are a number of important advantages that makes the trend of studying abroad very effective. The first is that the curriculum comprises of advanced topics which helps the students to better understand the subject. Candidates would also be benefited by studying the updated courses in terms of gaining in-depth knowledge and implementing the same in future. Second, learners have an option to get a good employment by being studied in renowned universities. For example, such universities take care of providing jobs too to their students. Clearly, education taught in foreign universities will be extremely advantageous. Despite the benefits, there are certainly some drawbacks associated with the shift away from studying in their native countries. The main issue is that, their own country would be left behind by intelligent candidates as they prefer to move out to external countries for their studies. Also, until the students raised their requirement of availing the enhanced programs, the government would be ignorant of this, which lead the outdated colleges and universities in their own country as it is. This will result in making their countries' educational sector weak enough. This essay discussed the ways in which education has made a great impact on students who goes to other countries rather than pursuing in their local countries. In my opinion, although there are demerits associated with the move to study in foreign universities, the advantages clearly outweigh them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
abroad has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become one of the most popular
Please check whether a plural form of 'culture' should be used.
culture
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Pupil these days prefer to migrate in colleges located in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement of the content
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for teaching in order to learn enhanced courses available there and it
also
results in their bright future.

This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that,
indeed
, this movement is superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
performed in earlier days by being there in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

There are a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective. The
first
is that the curriculum
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
advanced topics which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to better understand the subject. Candidates would
also
be benefited
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the updated courses in terms of gaining in-depth knowledge and implementing the same
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Second, learners have an option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employment by
being studied
in renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
For example
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
take care of providing jobs too to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Clearly
, education taught in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
will be
extremely
advantageous.

Despite the benefits, there are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks associated with the shift away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The main issue is that, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind by intelligent candidates as they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out to external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Also
, until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
raised their requirement of availing the enhanced programs, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would be ignorant of this, which lead the outdated colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it is. This will result in making their countries' educational sector weak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

This essay discussed the ways in which education has made a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Did you mean "go"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
goes
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rather
than pursuing in their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, although there are demerits associated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, the advantages
clearly
outweigh them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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