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Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions? v.4

Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions? v. 4
During adolescent years a lot of children have trouble managing their studies and personal life. This essay will discuss firstly, how hormonal changes cause troublesome behaviour among teenagers and secondly, will also suggest how through effective counselling parents can help their children. The teenage period is considered to be the most sensitive period during a child’s development. During this time a young person goes through some natural physiological and psychological changes which causes some alterations in a person’s behaviour. These include a desire for freedom and curiosity to explore new things. Consequently, many children engage themselves in risky activities like smoking and drinking and end up losing focus on studies which results in deteriorating grades. In fact, a recent study conducted by the University of California concluded that chemical imbalances in kids aged between thirteen and nineteen had a strong correlation with rowdy behaviour and poor grades. A possible solution to this problem is counselling. First of all, parents must try to remain mindful of the difficulties their children might be facing during this crucial period of their lives. Furthermore, they must encourage open communication with their children and have discussions on a varying range of topics. For instance, a 2013 study showed that students who more often engaged in discussing their real life issues with their elders, were able to quickly overcome behavioural and academic issues. To conclude, natural bodily changes are the paramount reason why some teenagers face challenges at school and home. The most effective way to overcome this problem is coaching and effective communication between children and parents.
During adolescent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have trouble managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and personal life. This essay will discuss
firstly
, how hormonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
cause troublesome
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
secondly
, will
also
suggest how through effective counselling parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their children.

The teenage period
is considered
to be the most sensitive period during a child’s development. During this time a young person goes through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural physiological and psychological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alterations in a person’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. These include a desire for freedom and curiosity to explore new things.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
engage themselves in risky activities like smoking and drinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up losing focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which results in deteriorating grades. In fact, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by the University of California concluded that chemical imbalances in kids aged between thirteen and nineteen had a strong correlation with rowdy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and poor grades.

A possible solution to this problem is counselling.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to remain mindful of the difficulties their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be facing during this crucial period of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage open communication with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and have discussions on a varying range of topics.
For instance
, a 2013
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that students who more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
engaged in discussing their real life issues with their elders, were able to
quickly
overcome
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
and academic issues.

To conclude
, natural
bodily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are the paramount reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
face challenges at school and home. The most effective way to overcome this problem is coaching and effective communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and parents.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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