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1. Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

1. Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. v. 1
In the competitive era, a successful person knows from their good behaviour as well as work hard. It is very difficult to be successful in a sport. Some experts believe that a sportsman needs a natural skill. However, others judge that hard production and a process can create to be renewed at present. In the below paragraphs, I will not only explain both the viewpoints, but also add my own opinion. To start with, those people who notion that a natural ability helps to the sports person in order to famous. Firstly, it consumes little time entering in the sports team. For example, if a person wants to become a sports. He or she does not have to effort hard. Because of this, they do not have to wait long time joining in the gaming industry. Sometimes, they unable to play with better performance at field of games. On the flip side, others reckon that hard work and habit are playing a considerable part in sports in order to successfully. First of all, it helps to provide the best opportunity to the players. They perform better. Likewise, both hard work and method teach to the people better performance. They learn many things from gaming. For instance, Rohit Sharma is known as a hitman of cricket, because he won many awards and matches under his team just due to his method and hard industry. To conclude, even though to be a successful in a sport needs many requirements, but form and hard task are very necessary for famous in this field. However, I deem that playing sports with struggle hard as well as proceeding are very essential around the world.
In the competitive era, a successful person knows from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
as well
as work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that a sportsman needs a natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
However
, others judge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
production and a process can create to
be renewed
at present. In the below paragraphs, I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the viewpoints,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a notion".
who notion
that a natural ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person in order to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.
Firstly
, it consumes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time entering in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
team.
For example
, if a person wants to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. He or she does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
effort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
Because of this
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait long time joining in the gaming industry.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
unable to play with better performance at field of games.

On the flip side, others reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and habit are playing a considerable part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in order
Did you mean "too"?
to
successfully
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to provide the best opportunity to the players. They perform better.
Likewise
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and method teach to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
better performance. They learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from gaming.
For instance
, Rohit Sharma
is known
as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hitman
of cricket,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
awards and matches under his team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
due to his method and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
industry.

To conclude
,
even though
to be a successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
form and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
task are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in this field.
However
, I deem that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with struggle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
as well
as proceeding are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential around the world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 1. Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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