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technology has made children less creative than children in the past. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

technology has made children less creative than children in the past. v. 1
It is argued that technology plays an ever increasing role in schools and universities. This essay will, firstly discuss student freedom as one of the main advantages of this and secondly, outline decreasing levels of face to face contact as one of the main disadvantages. One of the principle advantages of an increase in the use electronic devices in education is the autonomy it provides students. Students have the freedom to focus on whatever topic or subject they want and study it in depth through the internet. A prime example of this is the amount of online university courses available to students, covering a myriad of subjects, that up until recently were unavailable to most learners. This has resulted in more people studying third level degrees than ever before, at a pace and schedule that suits them. The main disadvantage associated with increasing use of technology in education is the decrease in face to face interaction between students. Students spend more time looking at computer screens by themselves than interacting with each other. For instance, the recent explosion in smartphone use has been at the expense of genuine human interaction. This results in soft skills, such as verbal communication and empathy, being affected. In conclusion, the benefits technology brings to education, such as student autonomy, must be weighed against the drawbacks, such as negative effects on human interaction. Overall, the educational benefits outweigh the disadvantages because human beings will always want human contact and most people will not solely use IT in education.
It
is argued
that technology plays an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
role in schools and universities. This essay will,
firstly
discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
freedom as one of the main advantages of this and
secondly
, outline decreasing levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
contact as one of the main disadvantages.

One of the
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
advantages of an increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic devices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the autonomy it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have the freedom to focus on whatever topic or subject they want and study it in depth through the internet. A prime example of this is the amount of online university courses available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, covering a myriad of subjects, that up until recently were unavailable to most learners. This has resulted in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
studying third level degrees than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, at a pace and schedule that suits them.

The main disadvantage associated with increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
spend more time looking at computer screens by themselves than interacting with each other.
For instance
, the recent explosion in smartphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
has been at the expense of genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interaction. This results in soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as verbal communication and empathy, being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In conclusion
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "benefits'" or "benefit's"?
benefits
technology brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
autonomy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be weighed
against the drawbacks, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interaction.
Overall
, the educational benefits outweigh the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings will always want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
contact and most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not
solely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
IT in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay technology has made children less creative than children in the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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