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Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things? v.1

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things? v. 1
These days, the problem that children have a habit of binge-watching so-much-so television and easing up the active or creative things has been receiving a great deal of public attention. This could be attributed a whole host of reasons, and some feasible solutions. There are a growing number of causes to explain for this situation. First, since there are a thousand of attractive eye-catching contents such as sound and visual effects at disposal, it evokes children’s curiosity of a new world, like Disney world. In fact, they can get into virtual world, it cannot call a halt to binge-watching. Second, by providing awareness of merits of doing exercises, children have access to these senses. This means that, they are too young to self-knowledgeable whether lack of out-door activities leads to detrimental effects or not, thus being reliant to watching TV It is supposed a multitude of workable solutions lowering thick on the ground of these issues. Firstly, in order to trigger kids’ interests in other fields, out-door activities should be organized more frequently. For example, family outing can bolster their physical energy and endurance, strengthening children’s health. Additionally, due to intriguing factors of the activity pursuit, parents distract their attentions from TV. Secondly, if the parents pay for children’s efforts after doing this by rewards, they can be galvanized to striving constantly. Plenty of evidence suggests that indoor playing grounds always laid on wish-lists of children, parents can break children screen habit by building up a small relaxed place in their houses. In conclusion, it is not without salient answers for the question of this kind of children’s habit. By focusing majority of leisure time on them, the parents can tackle the problem.
These days, the problem that
children
have a habit of binge-watching
so
-much-
so
television and easing up the active or creative things has been receiving a great deal of public attention. This could
be attributed
a whole host of reasons, and
some
feasible solutions.

There are a growing number of causes to
explain
for this situation.
First
, since there are a
thousand
of attractive eye-catching contents such as sound and visual effects at disposal, it evokes
children’s
curiosity of a new world, like Disney world. In fact, they can
get
into virtual world, it cannot call a halt to binge-watching. Second, by providing awareness of merits of doing exercises,
children
have access to these senses. This means that, they are too young to self-knowledgeable whether lack of out-door activities leads to detrimental effects or not,
thus
being reliant to watching
TV


It
is supposed
a multitude of
workable
solutions lowering thick on the ground of these issues.
Firstly
, in order to trigger kids’ interests in other fields, out-door activities should
be organized
more
frequently
.
For example
, family outing can bolster their physical energy and endurance, strengthening
children’s
health.
Additionally
, due to intriguing factors of the activity pursuit,
parents
distract their attentions from TV.
Secondly
, if the
parents
pay for
children’s
efforts after doing this by rewards, they can
be galvanized
to striving
constantly
.
Plenty
of evidence suggests that indoor playing grounds always laid on wish-lists of
children
,
parents
can break
children
screen habit by building up a
small
relaxed place in their
houses
.

In conclusion
, it is not without salient answers for the question of this kind of
children’s
habit. By focusing
majority of
leisure time on them, the
parents
can tackle the problem.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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