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Technology has a positive effect on education Do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words v.1

Technology has a positive effect on education 1
It is true that the responsibility of raising children to be useful citizens lies with the parents. However, I believe that the educational institutions also have a crucial role to play. A family may be the smallest unit of a society, but the role it has to play in the progress of a community cannot be overemphasized. In other words, the family is the bedrock of the society. In every group, someone is expected to lead and guide the others. In every family, this responsibility naturally lies with the parents. When they carry out their responsibilities to their children as parents effectively by giving them the required home training instead of indulging their excesses or neglecting them altogether, the probability of raising good children who would morph into responsible adults becomes quite high. Conversely, if they neglect their duties as parents, their kids would most likely become the dregs of the society. According to a recent survey carried out by the department of Geography at the University of Lagos, individuals who have been well trained by their parents often go on to make positive contributions to their society while people with dysfunctional parental upbringing often end up indulging in vices such as crime and drug addiction, which makes them liabilities to the society. On the other hand, the role of education, particularly formal education in building a child cannot be ignored. As a popular saying goes, “teachers are builders of the nation”. This essentially means that their input goes a long way in developing a child’s intellectual capacity. Quality education provides a great deal of exposure and knowledge gives people an edge in the society and effectively equips them with the capacity to play vital roles in their society. I personally believe that parental upbringing and education are intertwined as they both contribute to the development of a child. Parental upbringing gives children good morals and the ability to decipher between what is right and what is wrong while education sharpens their mental and intellectual capacities. A balanced combination of these two factors would produce an individual, who has the potential to make a significant impact - in the positive sense- to his or her society, In conclusion, education and parental guidance are very crucial, but they produce the best results when they go hand in hand. .
It is true that the responsibility of raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be useful citizens lies with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
However
, I believe that the educational institutions
also
have a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
to play.

A family may be the smallest unit of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
play in the progress of a community cannot
be overemphasized
.
In other words
, the family is the bedrock of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In every group, someone is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to lead and guide the others.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
every family, this responsibility
naturally
lies with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. When they carry out their responsibilities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
effectively
by giving them the required home training
instead
of indulging their excesses or neglecting them altogether, the probability of raising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who would morph into responsible adults becomes quite high.
Conversely
, if they neglect their duties as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, their kids would most likely become the dregs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. According to a recent survey carried out by the department of Geography at the University of Lagos, individuals who have been
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contributions to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with dysfunctional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
upbringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up indulging in vices such as crime and drug addiction, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them liabilities to the society.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
particularly
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in building a child cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. As a popular saying goes, “teachers are builders of the nation”. This
essentially
means that their input goes a long way in developing a child’s intellectual capacity. Quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides a great deal of exposure and knowledge gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
an edge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
effectively
equips them with the capacity to play vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in their society.

I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
upbringing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are intertwined
as they both contribute to the development of a child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parental
upbringing gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
morals and the ability to decipher between what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sharpens their mental and intellectual capacities. A balanced combination of these two factors would produce an individual, who has the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant impact
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sense- to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
society,

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
guidance are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they produce the best results when they go hand in hand.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Technology has a positive effect on education 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
388 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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