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Technology has a positive effect on education Do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words v.2

Technology has a positive effect on education 2
Technology has become a substantial element when it comes to education progress; I am of the belief that Technology plays an affirmative role in the educational system. My opinion will be illustrated in the lines below. In the modern era, and after the Internet invention, the technological process has spread to reach all educational branches’. In other words, the use of electronic learning and teaching students how to use it has become one of the top priorities even in public schools; this is exemplified in Egypt, one of the developing countries, which introduced technological gadgets such as Laptops and Tablets to the daily educational subjects and exams. Hence, this is a proof that using technology in learning or teaching community has been a successful addition in the developed countries. Therefore, developing countries are taking the action to be a part of the development civilization. In addition to the demerits of the technical devices on students, it also encourages educationalists and to create a new ways in teaching by adding visual-audio and video to their explanation and experiments. Moreover, one of the upsides of the technology is online education. Which allows many people from low classes to finish their education while they were working, and others to complete their study in an older age. Therefore, technological system has a broaden the horizons to a higher limits of education. For instance, in 2015 a survey has been published in The New York Times shows that online education has spread all over the world to increase the number of housewives by 62% to join Universities. My conclusion is that the power of technology and electronic teaching devices has shifted the balance from the hands of a few to the masses. I totally agree that technology positively affected education and helped on its development. I recommend that governments should provide awareness campaigns as an informing method to people about the importance of technology in the educational opportunity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has become a substantial element when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
progress; I am of the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
plays an affirmative role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system. My opinion will
be illustrated
in the lines below.

In the modern era, and after the Internet invention, the technological process has spread to reach all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
branches’.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
students how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it has become one of the top priorities even in public schools; this
is exemplified
in Egypt, one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, which introduced technological gadgets such as Laptops and Tablets to the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
subjects and exams.
Hence
, this is a proof that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in learning or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
community has been a successful addition in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are taking the action to be a part of the development civilization.

In addition
to the demerits of the technical devices on students, it
also
encourages educationalists and to create a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
by adding visual-audio and video to their explanation and experiments.
Moreover
, one of the upsides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from low classes to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
while they were working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to complete their study in an older age.
Therefore
, technological system has
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'broaden' is correct. If 'broaden' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a broaden
the horizons to a higher limits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
, in 2015 a survey has
been published
in The New York Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has spread all over the world to increase the number of housewives by 62% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Universities.

My conclusion is that the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
devices has shifted the balance from the hands of a few to the masses. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
on its development. I recommend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide awareness campaigns as an informing method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
opportunity.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Technology has a positive effect on education 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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