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Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. To what exteny do you agree or disagree. v.5

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. To what exteny v. 5
Every incident in a person’s life can teach him something. Some people opine that group activities can teach you more lessons than the individual activities. I believe that each aspect has its own essence and both can be a progressive learning experience and myriads of things can be learned from both types of activities. On the one hand, team games such as basketball and football can help in improving the behavioural traits such as being compassionate for others. It helps in becoming sympathetic towards others players because each player is entitled to share everything with the other player. As a result, everyone, subconsciously feels the responsibility towards each other. For example, owing to the fact that cricket is a team sport and everyone’s best performance is mandatory for a win, everyone helps each other to improve. Consequently, everyone grows together. On the other hand, individuals played games such as tennis and badminton makes a person a responsible player. This is because winning or losing both depends on an individual and no blame games could be played, and consequently, a person learns to accept himself and how to take responsibility of his performance and it’s result. For instance, Rodger Feeder’s success credits cannot be shared with anyone and the result of each of his game depends on his strategies and no one else. However, in team games such as Cricket, winning and losing depends on team's performance and not individual, hence it is easy to blame others for a loss, but this does not teach a person how to take responsibility for the loss. In conclusion, each type of sport has its own benefit such as group sports teaches how to care of your teammates and individual sports can make you a more responsible person. Therefore, each aspect has its own value and both are essential.
Every incident in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
him something.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that group activities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
you more lessons than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
activities. I believe that each aspect has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
essence and both can be a progressive learning experience and myriads of things can
be learned
from both types of activities.

On the one hand, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as basketball and football can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
traits such as being compassionate for others. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in becoming sympathetic towards others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
is entitled
to share everything with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
,
subconsciously
feels the responsibility towards each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, owing to the fact that cricket is a team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone’s
best performance is mandatory for a win,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
grows together.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as tennis and badminton
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
a responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
winning or losing both depends on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and no blame
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could
be played
, and
consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
learns to accept himself and how to take responsibility of his performance and it’s result.
For instance
, Rodger Feeder’s success credits cannot
be shared
with anyone and the result of each of his game depends on his strategies and no one else.
However
, in team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as Cricket, winning and losing depends on team's performance and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
hence
it is easy to blame others for a loss,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
how to take responsibility for the loss.

In conclusion
, each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit such as group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
how to care of your teammates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a more responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Therefore
, each aspect has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value and both are essential.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. To what exteny v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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