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Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. v. 3
Team games can help people learn more skills that will be useful in life compared to activities that performed individually. I agree that playing with a team is more beneficial for people because many jobs require effective communication and coordination, which one can not learn while playing alone. It also helps people develop soft skills that can be useful in social life. To begin with, being a team player can set you apart from the herd if you are trying to find a job. Many corporations are looking for people who can work with others and share ideas in order to improve the business. For example, working as a doctor in a hospital is like playing football with a team. First, you see the patient and you send the patient to the radiology department. Then, they send him back to you, and you pass him to another doctor who can score the goal, which is finding and curing the disease. To continue with, performing team sports develops people’s soft skills and help them in social life. In a team game one needs to understand other’s needs and act accordingly. It is a simulation of the real life, where one should find out what his friends and family want from him in certain situations. There are many studies conducted by top universities that state playing with other kids make children more successful in their life and improve their communication skills. In conclusion, I think that spending time with other people can help individuals to strenghten their social abilities. It also becomes very handy in the business world where people must work together in order to achieve their goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
games can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will be useful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compared to activities that performed
individually
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs require effective communication and coordination, which one can not learn while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
alone. It
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can be useful in social life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
player can set you apart from the herd if you are trying to find a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
corporations are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can work with others and share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the business.
For example
, working as a doctor in a hospital is like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
football with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
First
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the patient and you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the patient to the radiology department. Then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
him back to you, and you pass him to another doctor who can score the goal, which is finding and curing the disease.

To continue with, performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
sports develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
game one needs to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
needs and act
accordingly
. It is a simulation of the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, where one should find out what his friends and family want from him in certain situations. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies conducted by top universities that state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children more successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
individuals to
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghten
their social abilities. It
also
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy in the business world where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work together in order to achieve their goals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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