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Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. with this statement? v. 1
Undoubtedly, individuals have different opinions on how to carry out their tasks and duties - with or without helping others. While some may agree that isolated working or playing method is more beneficial, others, including myself, believe that group work can be more practical and can teach more life skills. On the one hand, working without the participation of any partner has two major advantages. The first is that people can have their own authorization. Being more independent, they can make their own plans and handle their job themselves. As a prime example, a computer engineer can focus better on his tasks if he does not have any partner. To design a video programme, he can use the Internet and download the needed software without asking any assistance from any person. Furthermore, this method can be more profitable. Whereas in team working, the amount of money earned from product sales should be divided into several people, a single professional can save this money, and profits would not be shared among several partners. While working alone people can focus more on the job and thus can achieve results faster. When a child plays alone, he gives more attention and thinks more than talking with others. Thus working alone could be better sometimes. On the other hand, despite the mentioned positive impacts of solitary works, in my view, team works can be the best option. One important reason behind it is that members would become more highly motivated. Clearly, by having more inspired individuals who have the same aim, each member will have a better feeling to finish the job. In particular, had not eBay, a prosperous international e-commerce trade which has surpassed other rivals since the last decade, worked in a group, it would not have become one of the most successful businesses in the 2000s. In addition, this method is less time-consuming. Obviously, each person has a specific ability to run the business; therefore, a problem can be addressed far simpler when it comes to the team working. For instance, although doctors may partially cover the nurses’ or other healthcare employees’ duties, they are not as skilful as they should be, and working as a healthcare team will be more beneficial to the patients. Woking in a team has many other advantages. Team members have different perspectives and thus solving a problem could be easier. Children, when play in a team, can learn from each other. They learn to share, communicate, solve problems as a team, lead others, help others compete in a positive way which is an essential quality for us. Thus team activities teach us far more practical skills of life than working or playing alone. In conclusion, in some cases, lonely working might be useful. However, from my perspective, group jobs preferably spend less time, and members are encouraged more to be active and successful in their job. Similarly, the group work enhances many practical skills we need in our life
Undoubtedly
, individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on how to carry out their tasks and duties
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
with or without helping others. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or playing method is more beneficial, others, including myself, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be more practical and can teach more life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
without the participation of any partner has two major advantages. The
first
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
authorization. Being more independent, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
plans and handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
themselves. As a prime example, a computer engineer can focus better on his tasks if he does not have any partner. To design a video
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet and download the needed software without asking any assistance from any person.
Furthermore
, this method can be more profitable. Whereas in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, the amount of money earned from product sales should
be divided
into several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, a single professional can save this money, and profits would not
be shared
among several partners. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can focus more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
can achieve results faster. When a child plays alone, he gives more attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
more than talking with others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
alone could be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, despite the mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of solitary works, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
works can be the best option. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason behind it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
would become more
highly
motivated.
Clearly
, by having more inspired individuals who have the same aim, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
will have a better feeling to finish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In particular
, had not eBay, a prosperous international e-commerce trade which has surpassed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
rivals since the last decade, worked in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, it would not have become one of the most successful businesses in the 2000s.
In addition
, this method is less time-consuming.
Obviously
, each person has a specific ability to run the business;
therefore
, a problem can
be addressed
far simpler when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
For instance
, although doctors may
partially
cover the nurses’ or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
healthcare employees’ duties, they are not as
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
as they should be, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
will be more beneficial to the patients.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Woking
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
solving a problem could be easier. Children, when play in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, can learn from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. They learn to share, communicate, solve problems as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, lead others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others compete in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way which is an essential quality for us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
activities teach us far more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of life than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or playing alone.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, lonely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
might be useful.
However
, from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
preferably
spend less time, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are encouraged
more to be active and successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
enhances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
we need in our life
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
493 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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