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International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v.4

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v. 4
There is no doubt that international tourists have brought a lot of positive impact to many countries. However, these benefits also come with many negative issues. Personally, I feel that international tourism has resulted more advantages than disadvantages to the affected nations in general. In this essay, I will examine both the benefits and their related cost and support my opinion accordingly. First of all, many people argue that many local inhabitants have been sacrificed in order to make way for the development of tourist attractions. For examples, trees were cut down so that hotels can be constructed; local old buildings were destroyed and replaced by new shopping malls; local residence have to be relocated so that their land can be used for new airports. However, people tend to ignore the economics and social benefits brought by these developments. For example, the number of jobs created by the constructions of hotels and shopping malls could stimulate the economic growth of a nation and benefit the people and the nation. Secondly, many people also claimed that the invasion of foreign tourists will increase the social problems such as crime rates immoral activities. For examples, they claimed that tourists usually like to visit pubs and clubs in the evening and that will lead to higher rate of alcohol related problems such as noise pollution, alcohol-related violence like fights and batterings and prostitution. However, I believe that the millions of foreign dollars brought in by these tourists could actually decrease the problems if the money are put into proper used by the government. For example, the tax collected from the entertainment outlet could be used to help combat crime and actually make safer country. In conclusion, I believe that if we look at the overall picture of international tourism when doing the cost-benefit analysis, we will see that they have more advantages than disadvantages.
There is no doubt that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues.
Personally
, I feel that international tourism has resulted more advantages than disadvantages to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
nations
in general
. In this essay, I will examine both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and their related cost and support my opinion
accordingly
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local inhabitants have
been sacrificed
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, trees were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that hotels can
be constructed
; local
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and replaced by new shopping malls; local residence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be relocated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their land can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for new airports.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the economics and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
brought by these developments. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, the number of jobs created by the constructions of hotels and shopping malls could stimulate the economic growth of a nation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the nation.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
claimed that the invasion of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will increase the social problems such as crime rates immoral activities. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, they claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
usually
like to visit pubs and clubs in the evening and that will lead to higher rate of alcohol related problems such as noise pollution, alcohol-related violence like fights and batterings and prostitution.
However
, I believe that the millions of foreign dollars brought in by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could actually decrease the problems if the money
are put
into proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, the tax collected from the entertainment outlet could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
combat crime and actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
safer country.

In conclusion
, I believe that if we look at the
overall
picture of international tourism when doing the cost-benefit analysis, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they have more advantages than disadvantages.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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