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Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. To what extent to you agree or disagree? v.7

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. v. 7
Different skills are required to attain the objective of any activity. Activities which are played in group propel one to learn other skills for life than activities that are played solo. I totally agree to the above statement and would like to discuss the same in the following paragraphs. To commence with, man is a social animal who loves to mingle with its own group. If man keeps himself or herself aloof, the learning gets deteriorated. The more the man socializes, the better he or she becomes. For instance, if a child is allowed to play with friends, he or she develops holistically. The skills that are learned in team are co-operation, communication, leadership, team spirit, patience, creative, and management. These skills help the child to be successful in other spheres of life. The employers always hire the candidates who carry skills that are required to make work atmosphere positive. Despite having the appropriate qualifications, candidates are rejected due to fewer skills. So, to be a skill oriented has become pre-requisite to get employed. On the other hand, activities that are played alone keep the learning at bay. One becomes rigid and a convergent thinker. For example, some parents do not permit their wards to mingle with others. They show reluctance because they feel that their child may fall into a bad company. This attitude of the folks hampers the development of that child. The child begins to remain in isolation, and create his or her own world. Thus, he or she hesitates to be a part of any group. The chances of becoming introvert are on rise which puts him or her in to the domain of inflexibility. To sum up, activities that are done in group have loads of advantages. Moreover, it pushes one to become skilled to face any challenges come across in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are required
to attain the objective of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
which
are played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
propel one to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for life than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
are played
solo. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the above statement and would like to discuss the same in the following paragraphs.

To commence with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is a social animal who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to mingle with its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
himself or herself aloof, the learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
deteriorated. The more the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
socializes, the better he or she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to play with friends, he or she develops
holistically
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
are learned
in team are co-operation, communication, leadership, team spirit, patience, creative, and management. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
spheres of life. The employers always hire the candidates who carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
work atmosphere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. Despite having the appropriate qualifications, candidates
are rejected
due to fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
oriented has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-requisite
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
are played
alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the learning at bay. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
rigid and a convergent thinker.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents do not permit their wards to mingle with others. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
reluctance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may fall into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This attitude of the folks hampers the development of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to remain in isolation, and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world.
Thus
, he or she hesitates to be a part of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The chances of becoming introvert are on rise which puts him or her in to the domain of inflexibility.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
are done
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
have loads of advantages.
Moreover
, it pushes one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
skilled to face any challenges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across in life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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