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In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
It must be accepted that nowadays, there has been a significant increase in episodes of offences committed by the young especially in the urban areas. This is fearful situations. There are many reasons for such situations; however, a few product suggestions can solve situations to a large extent, the causes and measures are discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. Examining the reasons, the most common is to live up and enjoy the big city. It has been observed that young people get easily obsessed by all the pleasure of the urban life, suchsuch as disclosed the clubs, the pubs and other money and so, they need money and so to earn fast bucks, they commit crime. The other prime reason is drugs and alcohol. Addicts of these vices tend to commit crime out of a strong desire to full-fill their habits. Poverty and unemployment in this age group are another driving forces for the offences. However, a few measures can really help to overcome the situations, the most important step is to keep strict vigilance in public places and place of entertainment closed around cameras, more police force, special police, patrolling at night. For instance, can effectively help to reduce criminal activities. Another suggestion is to try and bifurcate the young energy constructively, by organising event such as dance competitions, treasure hunts, cyclthons, Marathon and other fun filled activities, creating more part time jobs and raising the education level among younger people can also help in a large way to reduce crime by the young. To infer, it can be said that certainly, there are swelling numbers of crime in the metros and cities to live up to the glamour and earn fast quick money. Young people commit crime. However, strict vigilance and bifurcating youth, energy can help remedy the situations. I believe this debate must be considered on a serious note.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that nowadays, there has been a significant increase in episodes of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
committed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
especially
in the urban areas. This is fearful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
;
however
, a few product suggestions can solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
to a large extent, the causes and measures
are discussed
in the ensuing paragraphs.

Examining the reasons, the most common is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up and enjoy the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. It has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
obsessed by all the pleasure of the urban life,
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchsuch
as disclosed the clubs, the pubs and other money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they need money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
bucks, they commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The other prime reason is drugs and alcohol. Addicts of these vices tend to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
out of a strong desire to full-fill their habits. Poverty and unemployment in this age group are another driving forces for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.

However
, a few measures can
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
strict vigilance in public places and place of entertainment closed around cameras, more police force, special police, patrolling at night.
For instance
, can
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
criminal activities. Another suggestion is to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
bifurcate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
energy
constructively
, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
such as dance competitions, treasure hunts,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cyclthons
, Marathon and other fun filled activities, creating more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs and raising the education level among younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Consider replacing "in a large way" with the adverb for "large"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a large way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by the young.

To infer, it can
be said
that
certainly
, there are swelling numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the metros and cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to the glamour and earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
quick money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, strict vigilance and bifurcating youth, energy can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
remedy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. I believe this debate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
on a serious note.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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