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Task1---Choose one of the forms of the technology in the list and explain how it changes (has great impact on) people's lives in your country? A) airplane b) computer c) television v.1

Task1---Choose one of the forms of the technology in the list and explain how it changes (has great impact on) people's lives in your country? A) airplane b) computer c) television v. 1
In recent days, many students prefer studying abroad because there is more opportunity that is provided to college students. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of studying inside and outside of the country and also give my opinion on that as well as, examples, experience, and evidence. When people have more choice of selecting institutions for their future study, most of them would go outside of the country because they believe that it will broaden their horizons. Studying abroad students have a wonderful chance to learn new things and think outside of the box for example, people adjust themselves rapidly when they live in an unfamiliar location. Moreover, they can explore some city’s attractions, culture, tradition, and more importantly the language. In 2018, I was a university representative to participate in a leadership program held in Singapore and it allowed me to use English in my diary life, therefore, my English skills have improved and that helped me to get a high score in TOEIC test. However, there are some negative effects caused by studying outside of the country that people should realize and understand before they make any decisions. Staying far away from home means that it can be difficult when some unexpected situations happened to their friends and families. For instance, while I lived in the United State of America, my grandfather had serious lung cancer and I need to go back immediately and that cost me a lot to get an airplane ticket back home when compared to those who study in the country. In addition, I found that it is hard to come back and join some of the country’s festivals or special events because study schedule and time off will not be related to the country schedule that I came from. In conclusion, studying abroad or in the country have their own unique advantages and disadvantages. Studying abroad, people have the opportunity to find something new and broaden their views while studying in the country, students can go back home, take care and help their loved ones in some unexpected situations easier than someone who lives in other countries.
In recent days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is more opportunity that
is provided
to college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
inside and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
give my opinion on that
as well
as, examples, experience, and evidence.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more choice of selecting institutions for their future study, most of them would go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that it will broaden their horizons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a wonderful chance to learn new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the box
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adjust themselves
rapidly
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an unfamiliar location.
Moreover
, they can explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
city’s attractions, culture, tradition, and more
importantly
the language. In 2018, I was a university representative to participate in a leadership program held in Singapore and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
English in my diary life,
therefore
, my English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high score in
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOEIC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should realize and understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any decisions. Staying far away from home means that it can be difficult when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected situations happened to their friends and families.
For instance
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the United State of America, my grandfather had serious lung cancer and I need to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
immediately and that cost me a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an airplane ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home when compared to those who study in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, I found that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
festivals or special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
study schedule and time off will not
be related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
schedule that I came from.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
or in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunity to find something new and broaden their views while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home, take care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected situations easier than someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task1---Choose one of the forms of the technology in the list and explain how it changes (has great impact on) people's lives in your country? A) airplane b) computer c) television v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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