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178. Some say that, as long there are no financial difficulties, a woman's primary role should be to raise children and not work. Others disagree by saying that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to have children and work at the same time. What v.1

178. Some say that, as long there are no financial difficulties, a woman's primary role should be to raise children and not work. Others disagree by saying that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to have children and work at the same time. What v. 1
Transport considered as the backbone of any country. The economy of any country depends upon the transportation system. The main advantage of this system is that is time saved method of motion. The other merit of transit is door to door delivery of goods and materials. The demerit is that causes serious injuries and sometimes it leads to death case. This essay will explore how these two mega advantages can outweigh any disadvantage. Firstly, Shipment is generally a movement of humans, animals from one location to another. The main advantage of public transport that it is reliable. As it is not specially booked for single member that's why fares are very low. For Example, A Survey conducted by State California University Revealed that about 80% of World Population used such method to meet the needs. Hence, Public it is used globally. This mega advantage can undermine any disadvantage. Secondly, By the use of shipping long distance covers within hours. The work of Technology immensely increased the last decade. One more edge of such organization that it also controls the pollution. For instance, A Report Published in DAWN News revealed that about 70% of people prefer to use this service. Thus, It dominates all other facilities. This merit can outweigh any demerit. Finally, The biggest drawback of this process the lost of human life. As the speed is too high that leads to the danger. One this problem solved by controlling the speed and keeping the vehicle to drive at own side. To Sum up, It is clear that it is useable Worldwide because of quick deal and Low charges.
Transport considered as the backbone of any country. The economy of any country depends upon the transportation system. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of this system is
that is
time saved method of motion.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
other merit of transit is door to door delivery of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and materials.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
demerit is that causes serious injuries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it leads to death case. This essay will explore how these two mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
can outweigh any disadvantage.

Firstly
, Shipment is
generally
a movement of humans, animals from one location to another. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of public transport that it is reliable. As it is not
specially
booked for single member that's why fares are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
For Example
, A Survey conducted by State California University Revealed that about 80% of World Population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs.
Hence
, Public it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
globally. This mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
can undermine any disadvantage.

Secondly
, By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of shipping long distance covers within hours. The work of Technology
immensely
increased the last decade. One more edge of such organization that it
also
controls the pollution.
For instance
, A Report Published in DAWN News revealed that about 70% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this service.
Thus
, It dominates all other facilities. This merit can outweigh any demerit.

Finally
, The biggest drawback of this process the lost of human life.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the speed is too high that leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. One this problem solved by controlling the speed and keeping the vehicle to drive at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
side.

To Sum up, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is useable Worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of quick deal and Low charges.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 178. Some say that, as long there are no financial difficulties, a woman's primary role should be to raise children and not work. Others disagree by saying that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to have children and work at the same time. What v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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