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task 4 The halo effect is a cognitive bias where the perception of one trait (i. e. a characteristic of a person or object) is influenced by the perception of another trait or several traits of that person or object. For example, a famous fish cook can coo v.1

task 4 The halo effect is a cognitive bias where the perception of one trait (i. e. a characteristic of a person or object) is influenced by the perception of another trait or several traits of that person or object. For example, a famous fish cook can coo v. 1
Undoubtedly, a topic central to today’s social debate has revolved around a question whether entrepreneurs are in charge of social duties. While, some people oppose that businesses are not required to fulfil these responsibilities, personally, I lean towards believing they must and should honour social objections due to some elaborate below justifications. There is no room for doubt that regardless of social standing, career fields, wealth, . . . Social tasks have to be regarded as the common obligations for all citizens. First and foremost, social contribution of all citizens, including business people, sooner or later will pay off, not only for their country, but also for their families and themselves. In this notion, Taxation is a telling example. As stemming from citizens’ income, Tax revenue can be allocated to investing, improving some poor-quality public infrastructure and renewing many social facilities such as in the fields of education, medical care, transport, and so forth. Therefore, These mentioned communal development, widely considered as a precursor to a country’s development, can lead to wiping out social evils such as criminals, the booming of beggars, the presence of slums, . . . And especially narrowing the disparity between the haves and have-nots. All of them are able to help improve quality of life. On the other hand, opponents of the point of view outlined above may claim that entrepreneurs do not need to involve any social obligations since there is no interrelation between their job and the society. Nevertheless, I consider this way of thinking to be shortsighted. This is because how big and tangible their businesses can be, rests on the flourishing of the economy and related policies of each governments which decide the commercial potential, in general. In underprivileged countries, for instance, where their authorities and strategies have to focus on how to get rid of poverty for everyone, there is no opportunity for commercialization. As suggested above, like many other people in all fields, business people must fulfil the common social responsibilities because they have brought about many advantages not only for the whole nation, but also for their life and occupation.
Undoubtedly
, a topic central to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
debate has revolved around a question whether entrepreneurs are in charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
duties. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are not required to fulfil these responsibilities,
personally
, I lean towards believing they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
and should
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
objections due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elaborate below justifications.

There is no room for doubt that regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
standing, career fields, wealth
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
tasks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be regarded
as the common obligations for all citizens.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
contribution of all citizens, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, sooner or later will pay off, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their families and themselves. In this notion, Taxation is a telling example. As stemming from citizens’ income, Tax revenue can
be allocated
to investing, improving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor-quality public infrastructure and renewing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
facilities such as in the fields of education, medical care, transport, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Therefore
, These mentioned communal development,
widely
considered as a precursor to a country’s development, can lead to wiping out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
evils such as criminals, the booming of beggars, the presence of slums
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
And
especially
narrowing the disparity between the haves and
Possible spelling mistake found.
have-nots
. All of them are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life.

On the other hand
, opponents of the point of view outlined above may claim that entrepreneurs do not need to involve any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
obligations since there is no interrelation between their job and the society.
Nevertheless
, I consider this way of thinking to
be shortsighted
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and tangible their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can be, rests on the flourishing of the economy and related policies of each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "government"?
governments
which decide the commercial potential,
in general
. In underprivileged countries,
for instance
, where their authorities and strategies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of poverty for everyone, there is no opportunity for commercialization.

As suggested above, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fulfil the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the whole nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their life and occupation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay task 4 The halo effect is a cognitive bias where the perception of one trait (i. e. a characteristic of a person or object) is influenced by the perception of another trait or several traits of that person or object. For example, a famous fish cook can coo v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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