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do you prefer indoor activities or outdoor activities? use details and examples to support your explanation. v.2

do you prefer indoor activities or outdoor activities? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 2
Throughout the history, people have always been different when it comes to their choice of clothes. This can be due to many reasons. For instance, their social atmosphere influences them in a certain way that drives them to choose a specific thing to wear. However, before they choose clothes, they firstly do a background process that enables them to define their style. Relevantly, this process involves psychological aspects that enables the person to define what is mostly in a perfect alignment with her or his character. Overall, the fusion between the personal preferences, the inner voice of the mind, and the chosen clothes, reflects a lot about an individual's culture, environment, and perspective. Additionally, there are many factors that affect the assessment of a one's outlook, such as the financial conditions, social inheritances, and exposure to different cultures, places and people. These factors play the most role in shaping interest in a specific look. On the other hand, assessing people by entirely judging their outlooks, could lead to false conclusions. Moreover, this can hurt the feelings of people as the judgments could be unfair. For instance, I witnessed a situation when a friend of mine was extremely annoyed by a man working in a store, who made a comment about a hole in my friend's shoes, while not realizing that my friend has hit a rock by accident just before entering the shop, which resulted in cutting the shoes. Such situation implies that we should avoid stereotyping. However, this is not always the case, for example, we can tell that a man is not so generous if he avoids paying his check repeatedly during outings with his friends, while being in good financial and work conditions that allow him to buy very expensive international brands of clothes during the same outings. This has been also a case that I witnessed.
Throughout the history,
people
have always been
different
when it
comes
to their choice of
clothes
. This can be due to
many
reasons.
For instance
, their social atmosphere influences them in a certain way that drives them to choose a specific thing to wear.
However
,
before
they choose
clothes
, they
firstly
do a background process that enables them to define their style.

Relevantly
, this process involves psychological aspects that enables the person to define what is
mostly
in a perfect alignment with her or his character.
Overall
, the fusion between the personal preferences, the inner voice of the mind, and the chosen
clothes
, reflects a lot about an individual's culture, environment, and perspective.
Additionally
, there are
many
factors that affect the assessment of a one's outlook, such as the financial conditions, social inheritances, and exposure to
different
cultures, places and
people
. These factors play the most role in shaping interest in a specific look.

On the other hand
, assessing
people
by
entirely
judging their outlooks, could lead to false conclusions.
Moreover
, this can hurt the feelings of
people
as the judgments could be unfair.
For instance
, I witnessed a situation when a friend of mine was
extremely
annoyed by a
man
working in a store, who made a comment about a hole in my friend's shoes, while not realizing that my friend has hit a rock by accident
just
before
entering the shop, which resulted in cutting the shoes. Such situation implies that we should avoid stereotyping.

However
, this is not always the case,
for example
, we can
tell
that a
man
is not
so
generous if he avoids paying his
check
repeatedly
during outings with his friends, while being in
good
financial and work conditions that
allow
him to
buy
very
expensive international brands of
clothes
during the same outings. This has been
also
a case that I witnessed.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay do you prefer indoor activities or outdoor activities? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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