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task 4 A biome is an area of the planet that can be classified according to the plants and animals that live in it. Temperature, soil, and the amount of light and water help determine what life exists in a biome. A biome is different from an ecosystem. An v.1

task 4 A biome is an area of the planet that can be classified according to the plants and animals that live in it. Temperature, soil, and the amount of light and water help determine what life exists in a biome. A biome is different from an ecosystem. An v. 1
Some people believe that a building should be more useful to its users, rather than just being beautiful, which is why they suggest that architects should not focus on making it aesthetically pleasing. This essay disagrees with this suggestion because attractive constructions have a lot to offer to the community. Firstly, this essay will outline how pretty buildings increase tourism, followed by how they are a blessing for businesses in the vicinity. Artistic structures invites a lot of visitors due to the awesome skyline they create for the city and due to the breathtaking view they provide from the roof tops. People like visiting such places because their intrinsic design is a sight for a sore eye. Visitors from various places will come to these cities to see the skyscrapers and to enjoy the view from the top of these towers. As people from all around the country and sometimes even from the foreign land visit this place, tourism get an exponential jump. For example, the John Hancock tower in Chicago and the Empire state building in New York is a prime spot visited by thousands of tourists every day. Moreover, these towers give a boost to local businesses like restaurants and bars nearby. Because so many folks come over to view these, the shops in those areas get an increased foot fall of guests. Subsequently, their business grows immensely. Consequently, it not only contributes to the profits that they earn, but also provides employment to many localities. For example, the street where The World Trade Center is situated in New York has seen a number of restaurants grow financially. In conclusion, although the usefulness of huge structures is unquestionably important, their artistic appeal can also not be discounted because they grow the tourism industry and local businesses around. Hence I disagree with the idea that the beauty of architectures is not essential for the constructors to focus on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that a building should be more useful to its users,
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, which is why they suggest that architects should not focus on making it
aesthetically
pleasing. This essay disagrees with this suggestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
attractive constructions have a lot to offer to the community.
Firstly
, this essay will outline how pretty buildings increase tourism, followed by how they are a blessing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in the vicinity.

Artistic structures invites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
visitors due to the awesome skyline they create for the city and due to the breathtaking view they provide from the roof tops.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
like visiting such places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their intrinsic design is a sight for a sore eye. Visitors from various places will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the skyscrapers and to enjoy the view from the top of these towers. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all around the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even from the foreign land visit this place, tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an exponential jump.
For example
, the John Hancock tower in Chicago and the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Empire state building
in New York is a prime spot visited by thousands of tourists every day.

Moreover
, these towers give a boost to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
like restaurants and bars nearby.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over to view these, the shops in those areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an increased foot fall of guests.
Subsequently
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
grows
immensely
.
Consequently
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contributes to the profits that they earn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides employment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
localities.
For example
, the street where The World Trade Center
is situated
in New York has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a number of restaurants grow
financially
.

In conclusion
, although the usefulness of huge structures is
unquestionably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, their artistic appeal can
also
not
be discounted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grow the tourism industry and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
around.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the beauty of architectures is not essential for the constructors to focus on.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay task 4 A biome is an area of the planet that can be classified according to the plants and animals that live in it. Temperature, soil, and the amount of light and water help determine what life exists in a biome. A biome is different from an ecosystem. An v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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