Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Bioluminescence Bioluminescence occurs when organisms convert chemical energy into visible light. This happens when a chemical reaction involving oxygen and two other molecules takes place. During this reaction, light of varying colors may be emitted. The v.1

Bioluminescence Bioluminescence occurs when organisms convert chemical energy into visible light. This happens when a chemical reaction involving oxygen and two other molecules takes place. During this reaction, light of varying colors may be emitted. The v. 1
Many people who represent the workforce in the rural areas are moving into city centres, abandoning that region where the vast majority of the dwellers are retired. This essay is going to list the main consequences of this problem and give some suggestions to address it. The results of the young people migration to urban areas are the over population of theses places and the lack of development in the countryside. The first has an enormous negative impact on the wellness of town citizens. For example, the increase of unemployment, traffic congestion and the number of people using public transport turn simple activities into a stressful daily routine. The latter affects rural economies since the manpower has left and there are no people to work in fields such as agriculture and local retail. As a result, there is an unbalance harming both the countryside and town. In order to cope with this issue, there are two important measures that the governments should consider. Firstly, they could offer tax free benefits to companies setting businesses in rural localities. By doing this, the work vacancies would rapidly increase, attracting unemployed people to those areas. Secondly, the infrastructure of the countryside should be improved, for instance, with the construction of theatres, cinemas, shopping malls and so on. Consequently, the residents' daily life would become more convenient and exciting as it is in cities. To conclude, it is clear that the migration from the countryside to cities has negative outcomes for both areas. The authorities have to step in this problem to improve people's lives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who represent the workforce in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are moving into city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, abandoning that region where the vast majority of the dwellers
are retired
. This essay is going to list the main consequences of this problem and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to address it.

The results of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migration to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are the over population of
Did you mean "these"?
theses
places and the lack of development in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. The
first
has an enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the wellness of town citizens.
For example
, the increase of unemployment, traffic congestion and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using public transport turn simple activities into a stressful daily routine. The latter affects rural economies since the manpower has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work in fields such as agriculture and local retail.
As a result
, there is an unbalance harming both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and town.

In order to cope with this issue, there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
measures that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should consider.
Firstly
, they could offer
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tax free
benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
setting businesses in rural localities. By doing this, the work vacancies would
rapidly
increase, attracting unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Secondly
, the infrastructure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
for instance
, with the construction of
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, cinemas, shopping malls and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Consequently
, the residents' daily life would become more convenient and exciting as it is in cities.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the migration from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
to cities has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
step in this problem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Bioluminescence Bioluminescence occurs when organisms convert chemical energy into visible light. This happens when a chemical reaction involving oxygen and two other molecules takes place. During this reaction, light of varying colors may be emitted. The v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts