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what is your favorite form of transformation for getting around? describe it and explain why it is your favorite means of transportation. v.1

what is your favorite form of transformation for getting around? describe it and explain why it is your favorite means of transportation. v. 1
It is a very well know fact that men and women bring different traits and drawbacks to the table in a professional setting, which is why some people say that certain jobs should be off limits based on one's gender. I disagree with this suggestion because each gender has something unique to offer in a business. Firstly, this essay will explain how the different skills that both the genders bring is a key to the success of any enterprise, followed by how a proper amalgamation of sexes in the office creates healthy competition. Males and females have diverse skills which are necessary for the growth of any firm. Men are known to be more aggressive and passionate in nature, while on the other hand women bring more empathy and emotional intelligence. In any area of work all these attributes are required because to solve any problem, the executives not only want their employees to have fierce work ethic, but also to have an ability to relate to the client on a human level. Consequently, such teams will be more productive and better at its performance. For example, Mckinsey published the results of an experiment showing that a project team with both guys and girls were more successful in their implementation than the team with single sex members. A good mixture of people of all genders creates a competitive environment at the office. Such an environment pushed people to put their best foot forward, think outside the box and bring innovative solutions to the business problems. With this comes outstanding ideas, excellent execution and an exceedingly satisfied customer. Teams that do not have such mixture will always miss out on these fruits of a competition. For example, a sports magazine, appropriately noted that in the last decade as females have started doing better, male players are encouraged to up their games. In conclusion, excluding people by their sex is not advisable because mixed team is better at its job due to the different flavours of skills they bring and it creates a race for everyone to be the best which in turn help their company. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the exclusion of anyone by their gender identification.
It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traits and drawbacks to the table in a professional setting, which is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that certain jobs should be off limits based on one's gender. I disagree with this suggestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each gender has something unique to offer in a business.
Firstly
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that both the genders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
is a key to the success of any enterprise, followed by how a proper amalgamation of sexes in the office creates healthy competition.

Males and females have diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are necessary for the growth of any firm.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
are known
to be more aggressive and passionate in nature, while
on the other hand
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more empathy and emotional intelligence. In any area of work all these attributes
are required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to solve any problem, the executives not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want their employees to have fierce work ethic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to have an ability to relate to the client on a human level.
Consequently
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
will be more productive and better at its performance.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mckinsey
published the results of an experiment showing that a project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
with both guys and girls were more successful in their implementation than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
with single sex members.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mixture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all genders creates a competitive environment at the office. Such an environment pushed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to put their best foot forward,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
outside the box and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
innovative solutions to the business problems. With this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, excellent execution and an
exceedingly
satisfied customer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teams
that do not have such mixture will always miss out on these fruits of a competition.
For example
, a sports magazine,
appropriately
noted that in the last decade as females have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing better, male players
are encouraged
to up their games.

In conclusion
, excluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by their sex is not advisable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is better at its job due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
and it creates a race for everyone to be the best which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
disagree with the exclusion of anyone by their gender identification.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay what is your favorite form of transformation for getting around? describe it and explain why it is your favorite means of transportation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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