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TPO 161. A lot of plants and animals live near the surface of the ocean and that means there's a lot of food near the surface, because there are lots of plants and animals to eat. 2. But if you go down to the deepest parts of the ocean, it's cold v.1

TPO 161. A lot of plants and animals live near the surface of the ocean and that means there's a lot of food near the surface, because there are lots of plants and animals to eat. 2. But if you go down to the deepest parts of the ocean, it's cold v. 1
The last few decades have seen an enormous growth in the air travel. Some people claim that only the privileged people can make use of air travel whereas those with a limited budget take no advantage of this trend. Personally, I believe that both groups of people can reap the benefit of the rising air travel. On the one hand, air travel enables the affluent people to have access to faraway destinations for relaxation. Particularly, the well-off holiday makers stand a high chance of travelling to exotic and luxurious places to kick back and chill out. For example, my neighbour, who is a successful businessman, flew all the way from Hanoi to Abu Dhabi to spend his holiday in the most expensive hotel, called Emirates Palace. Furthermore, the expansion of air travel allows wealthy entrepreneurs to expand their business opportunities overseas. In fact, no matter how far a destination is, travelling by plane only takes up a day maximum. Thus, many businesses are able to access many markets in various parts of the world, even in rural areas. On the other hand, the less well-off people can still gain benefit from air travel. Specifically, air travel promotes influx of goods and services between nations, so that ordinary people can afford high quality goods at a reasonable price. For instance, tropical fruits such as guava, passion fruit and pineapple were very rare and sold at an inflated price in temperate regions. However, thanks to the extension of air travel, those fruits are now more affordable for the locals. In conclusion, this essay has highlighted the upside and downside of the booming air travel. However, governments should take measures to reduce the air pollution that the air travel caused.
The last few decades have
seen
an enormous growth in the
air
travel
.
Some
people
claim that
only
the privileged
people
can
make
use
of
air
travel
whereas those with a limited budget take no advantage of this trend.
Personally
, I believe that both groups of
people
can reap the benefit of the rising
air
travel.

On the one hand,
air
travel
enables the affluent
people
to have access to faraway destinations for relaxation.
Particularly
, the well-off holiday makers stand a high chance of travelling to exotic and luxurious places to kick back and chill out.
For example
, my
neighbour
, who is a successful businessman, flew all the way from Hanoi to Abu Dhabi to spend his holiday in the most expensive hotel, called Emirates Palace.
Furthermore
, the expansion of
air
travel
allows
wealthy entrepreneurs to expand their business opportunities overseas. In fact, no matter how far a destination is, travelling by
plane
only
takes up a day maximum.
Thus
,
many
businesses are able to access
many
markets in various parts of the world, even in rural areas.

On the other hand
, the less well-off
people
can
still
gain benefit from
air
travel
.
Specifically
,
air
travel
promotes influx of
goods
and services between nations,
so
that ordinary
people
can afford high quality
goods
at a reasonable price.
For instance
, tropical fruits such as guava, passion fruit and pineapple were
very
rare and sold at an inflated price in temperate regions.
However
, thanks to the extension of
air
travel
, those fruits are
now
more affordable for the locals.

In conclusion
, this essay has highlighted the upside and downside of the booming
air
travel
.
However
,
governments
should take measures to
reduce
the
air
pollution that the
air
travel
caused.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 161. A lot of plants and animals live near the surface of the ocean and that means there's a lot of food near the surface, because there are lots of plants and animals to eat. 2. But if you go down to the deepest parts of the ocean, it's cold v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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