Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 1
Funding from government for art and culture is crucial to society and the culture, while others think that the leader should not provide money to preserve art and culture, because there are numerous problems which is urgent to solve. Form my opinion, the authority should balance their revenue to provide money for art and culture as well as solving other issues. First and foremost, investing money only on art and artistic works is preposterous, because problems, for instance, the deterioration of transportation and its infrastructure hamper the lives of a huge number of people. For that reason, the bureaucrats of a country must look into this matter by building good roads and highways which might protect several lives from injuries. Moreover, the government needs to solve the essential issues, such as pollution and natural resource depletion. This could be solved when the leader of a country would work together with scientists by supplying them, which may help them to build machines and, eventually, it could reduce pollutants from the environment. In addition, the devices that scientists would invent, might decrease the use of natural resources as well. Thus, the leader ought to invest money on serious problem. On the other hand, it is said that art and culture represent the history of a country, so that it should be preserved by the government. Of course, the government has plenty of money, which would not finish, if a little money goes to the protection of artists’ works. This is because these works arise a sense of patriotism and community. For example, when people go to the museum, they can observe the history of their nation, the struggle of their forefathers for whom the nation is in the zenith position in the world. Hence, people feel love and respect for their society. Ergo, it is just for the authority to invest money. In conclusion, it is a controversial issue as to whether the government should supply money to protect art and culture, or, whether other issues like pollution, transportation, and preserving natural resources should be focused on first by the authority. In my opinion, both issues need to be solved by the government.
Funding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is crucial to society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the leader should not provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are numerous problems which is urgent to solve. Form my opinion, the authority should balance their revenue to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as well
as solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.

First
and foremost, investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and artistic works is preposterous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
problems,
for instance
, the deterioration of transportation and its infrastructure hamper the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For that reason, the bureaucrats of a country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
look into this matter by building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roads and highways which might protect several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from injuries.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to solve the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, such as pollution and natural resource depletion. This could
be solved
when the leader of a country would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together with scientists by supplying them, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build machines and,
eventually
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollutants from the environment.
In addition
, the devices that scientists would invent, might decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of natural resources
as well
.
Thus
, the leader ought to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on serious problem.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
represent the history of a country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it should
be preserved
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Of course
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which would not finish, if a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
goes to the protection of artists’ works. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these works arise a sense of patriotism and community.
For example
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to the museum, they can observe the history of their nation, the struggle of their forefathers for whom the nation is in the zenith position in the world.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect for their society. Ergo, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the authority to invest money.

In conclusion
, it is a controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, or, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like pollution, transportation, and preserving natural resources should
be focused
on
first
by the authority. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
need to
be solved
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts