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Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own openion. v.2

Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 2
Different people having different opinions as few of them are opposing government fund for Art and culture, where some people believe the development of population and culture. There are both positive and negative impacts are observed in government funding for the Arts and cultures. Firstly, the government funding for cultural development unable to accounted as they are immeasurable benefits. Although, there is some possibility of misuse of funds by the local leaders. Even the end user, who originally to be benefitted remains looser as the recognisance shall not be happen due to some political impedance. Moreover the essential commodities like transportation and other public services budget get down because the funds being diverted to the culture activities. Nowadays, almost in all the developing countries in the world reluctant to divert their funds towards art and culture improvement as it has not shown any economic growth to them. Secondly, encouragement of the social arts is making the people on the same page. This results unity of people and skills development as well. Hence the developed countries, which having sufficient amounts to infrastructure developments can encourage. Despite of development of the country, government should take initiations to improve the internal arts of people. This definitely improves population analytical thinking and sharp catching skills. Finally, many countries in this regard taking initiation and getting beautiful results. By concluding, The craft arts which are adopted from their culture to be funded undoubtedly. Since, the improvement of the arts gives fruitful results along with time. In my prospective, all the countries have to look in the direction of increasing the skill sets, which indirectly helps the economic growth of the country. Also, need to take appropriate actions to get utilised government funds properly for the allocated works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions as few of them are opposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of population and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. There are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
are observed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
and cultures.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding for cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
unable to accounted as they are immeasurable benefits.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possibility of misuse of funds by the local leaders. Even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
user, who
originally
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
remains looser as the
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognisance' is British English.
recognisance
shall not be
Consider using a past participle here: "happened".
happen
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
political impedance.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the essential commodities like transportation and other public services budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the funds
being diverted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
activities. Nowadays, almost in all the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world reluctant to divert their funds towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
improvement as it has not shown any economic growth to them.

Secondly
, encouragement of the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the same page. This results unity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which having sufficient amounts to infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
can encourage.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take initiations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
population analytical thinking and sharp catching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in this regard taking initiation and getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
results.

By concluding, The craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which
are adopted
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to
be funded
undoubtedly
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
gives fruitful results along with time. In my prospective, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look in the direction of increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets, which
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Also
, need to take appropriate actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds
properly
for the allocated works.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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