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Task 2 Some people think that children should start school at a very early age but others believe that should not go to school until they are older Discuss both these views and give your opinion v.2

Task 2 Some people think that children should start school at a very early age but others believe that should not go to school until they are older 2
At the present time, many families are trying to make their children study at a very early age. However, some people believe that children should start going to school at a consistent age. In my opinion, while I agree that this idea has many benefits, I reckon that several drawbacks can exist. There are many reasons why many parents believe that the sooner children are exposed to learning, the more intelligent they will be in the future. Firstly, these children are educated particularly and carefully as soon as they can study. For instance, in Vietnam, most rich families are trying to urge their children to go to English centres. In addition, not only do they teach children how to read alphabet, but they also want children to have more competences in many fields such as music, art. Secondly, if a child has many conditions to study at a very early age, they can know many essential skills and knowledge in the future. Therefore, these children are believed to be more agile than the others. On the other hand, there are arguments which contradict these above ideas. Some people indicate that children should go to school at a suitable age because they can have much time to understand meticulously their lives. Take Edison as an example, when he was a child, Edison, who was a famous inventor in America, hated going to school. As he hoped to have many opportunities to study real and useful knowledge. In conclusion, I think that children should go to school early. Albeit this idea can have some disadvantages, its advantages are completely efficient.
At the present time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. In my opinion, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, I reckon that several drawbacks can exist.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents believe that the sooner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are exposed
to learning, the more intelligent they will be in the future.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are educated
particularly
and
carefully
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For instance
, in Vietnam, most rich families are trying to urge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to English
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to read alphabet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have more competences in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields such as music, art.
Secondly
, if a child has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conditions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they can know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge in the future.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are believed
to be more agile than the others.

On the other hand
, there are arguments which contradict these above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
indicate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can have much time to understand
meticulously
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Take Edison as an example, when he was a child, Edison, who was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
inventor in America, hated going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. As he hoped to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
real and useful knowledge.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early. Albeit this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, its advantages are completely efficient.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2 Some people think that children should start school at a very early age but others believe that should not go to school until they are older 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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