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Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that should not go to school until they are older. v. 1
In recent years, the perspective for young schoolers to be sent to school early has become a broad phenomenon for the general public. In my opinion, I would argue that starting full-time schooling at a young age cannot be viewed as a holistic approach for children to develop their imagination. On the one hand, in this fast-changing world, a number of parents wish to prepare their children with academic knowledge from an early age so as that they gain an advantage in highly competitive environments. In the first place, the younger the learner are, the better they are adopting new languages in terms of sounds as pronunciation. In fact, scientific research has illustrated that language acquisition ability is greater at a younger age than at an older one, there is an increasing figure for parents would like their children to be exposed to foreign languages sooner. In the second place, by putting their children to school early, parents are able to allocate their time to their work and private life effectively. On the other hand, it is not a great idea to send children to school too early. First, such erroneous belief may leave profound damage, which means that formal education is associated with homework are regulations, creating excessive and unnecessary stress for children. Moreover, playful experiences contribute to the development of children in contemporary society. For instance, in Finland, where children do not start formal and full-scale education until they are seven, Finnish students have always been standing at the top productive and successful ones in international competitions. In conclusion, letting children go to school before the age of seven would make more pressure for them, that why parents should give their children more play opportunities for comprehensive development.
In recent years, the perspective for young schoolers to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
has become a broad phenomenon for the
Consider using "public".
general public
. In my opinion, I would argue that starting full-time schooling at a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
cannot
be viewed
as a holistic approach for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their imagination.

On the one hand, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing world, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
wish to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with academic knowledge from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as that they gain an advantage in
highly
competitive environments. In the
first
place, the younger the learner are, the better they are adopting new languages in terms of sounds as pronunciation. In fact, scientific research has illustrated that language acquisition ability is greater at a younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
than at an older one, there is an increasing figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be exposed
to foreign languages sooner.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the second place, by putting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to allocate their time to their work and private life
effectively
.

On the other hand
, it is not a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
.
First
, such erroneous belief may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
profound damage, which means that formal education
is associated
with homework are regulations, creating excessive and unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, playful experiences contribute to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in contemporary society.
For instance
, in Finland, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
formal and full-scale education until they are seven, Finnish students have always been standing at the top productive and successful ones in international competitions.

In conclusion
, letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more pressure for them, that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more play opportunities for comprehensive development.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that should not go to school until they are older. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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