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Task 2- Some people believe that it is better for small children to grow up in a small town. Others, however, believe that it's better for them to grow up in a big city. Which do you think is better? v.1

Task 2- Some people believe that it is better for small children to grow up in a small town. Others, however, believe that it's better for them to grow up in a big city. Which do you think is better? v. 1
Nowadays, there is no denying how important role the energy plays in human lives. Although some people think that increasing the demand for petrol must encourage the scientists to search for new future energy sources, others say that looking for new sorces will damage the environment. This essay will discuss why searching for new sources of energy is beneficial, which is my opinion, despite the damageable effects on the earth. That is a fact, that exploration for new sources of energy is beneficial, because it will give the scientists the energy which they need to create new and clean energy. Clean energy such as: electrical, solar, and tidal energy will protect the earth. On the other hand, oil and gas lead to release carbon di oxide, which cause the green house effect. In fact, the last Harvard university research has concluded that using clean energy will reduce the air pollution by 10%. Therefore, searching for new sources of energy is beneficial. While looking for new sources of energy has benefits, it will cause many detrimental effects on the environment. Firstly, it will cause deforestation, as the scientists cut the trees to explore the ground. Secondly, deforestation will lead to increase the amount of CO2. Finally, this will vulnerable the glaciers to melt, as the temperature of the earth gets higher. In fact, if the people continue to search for new sources of energy, the earth will be flooded with ocean water, because of melting of glaciers. For these reasons, searching for new sources of energy has negative impacts. In conclusion, whether or not, energy plays paramount role in our lives, eventually. Although some people think that increasing demand for oil and gas must prompt scientists to look for new, future energy sources, Others feel we should not search for new energy sources because searching causes too much damage to the environment. From my point of view, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages, as the availability of the energy will help the scientists to create the clean one.
Nowadays, there is no denying how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
plays in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing the demand for petrol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
to search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, others say that looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
sorces
will damage the environment. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is beneficial, which is my opinion, despite the damageable effects on the earth.

That is
a fact, that exploration for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which they need to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as: electrical, solar, and tidal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will protect the earth.
On the other hand
, oil and gas lead to release carbon
Possible spelling mistake found.
di
oxide, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect. In fact, the last
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
research has concluded that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the air pollution by 10%.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is beneficial.

While looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
has benefits, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on the environment.
Firstly
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
deforestation, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the trees to explore the ground.
Secondly
, deforestation will lead to increase the amount of CO2.
Finally
, this will vulnerable the glaciers to melt, as the temperature of the earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
higher. In fact, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue to search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, the earth will
be flooded
with ocean water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of melting of glaciers. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

In conclusion
,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
plays paramount role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
eventually
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing demand for oil and gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prompt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
to look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
, future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, Others feel we should not search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
too much damage to the environment. From my point of view, the advantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the disadvantages, as the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
to create the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Task 2- Some people believe that it is better for small children to grow up in a small town. Others, however, believe that it's better for them to grow up in a big city. Which do you think is better? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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