Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing task 2Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v.1

Writing task 2Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 1
Health has always been given a top priority since generations. On the one hand, people argue that government should take responsibility for their citizens' health, while the others believe that it should be taken care by each individual. I would like to discuss both the views of the topic in this essay. To begin with, individuals should take utmost care in maintaining their health. This is because most of the time the decision in following a healthy diet and performing physical activities solely depend on each individual. For instance, choosing the kind of food we eat is very important, as it could result in obesity and other side effect. Furthermore, the amount of time that we spend on physical activity to keep ourselves fit and healthy depends on individuals overall health conditions. On the other hand, the government should play an active role in spreading health awareness and taking responsibility for their citizens' health. People are unaware of the ingredients that are used in making food products and the kind of impact it can have on their health. To illustrate, Maggi noodles have been banned in India for over a year because it contains chemicals that are harmful and can cause cancer. In addition to that, government authorities should impose high taxes on alcohol and other narcotic products, as it can result in diseases that can sometimes be contagious. To illustrate, smoking can cause cancer, which can easily harm others with the smoke it produces. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of both individuals and government in maintaining health and overall lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
has always been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a top priority since generations. On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take responsibility for their citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, while the others believe that it should
be taken
care by each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. I would like to discuss both the views of the topic in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take utmost care in maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time the decision in following a healthy diet and performing physical activities
solely
depend on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
For instance
, choosing the kind of food we eat is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as it could result in obesity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side effect.
Furthermore
, the amount of time that we spend on physical activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves fit and healthy depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should play an active role in spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness and taking responsibility for their citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are unaware of the ingredients that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in making food products and the kind of impact it can have on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
noodles have
been banned
in India for over a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains chemicals that are harmful and can cause cancer.

In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities should impose high taxes on alcohol and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
narcotic products, as it can result in diseases that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be contagious. To illustrate, smoking can cause cancer, which can
easily
harm others with the smoke it produces.

In conclusion
, it is the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
overall
lifestyle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing task 2Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts