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Task 2: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v.2

Task 2: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 2
Museums and historical places are one of the most visited sites by tourists every year as they depict the history and cultural heritage of a particular region. However, it has been noticed that such premises are generally visited by holidaymakers whereas the number of local visitors is very low. This essay will discuss the reason why it is happening and put forward a solution for this issue. Two major factors are behind the declination of local visitors to such buildings. The first is the gradual change in the trend and mindset opted by the people, especially youngsters. In this contemporary world of modernization, individuals tend to spend their spare time with their friends and family by visiting public places like shopping malls, theaters, et cetera, because they consider them to be more entertaining whereas historical buildings to be monotonous. The second factor is the hectic schedule of all age groups. Whenever people get some free time, they prefer to pass it by sitting at their homes rather than going out anywhere, whereas the tourists already have a spare time to schedule their visits to these places. So, Museums and other history-related buildings are more famous among tourists than local folks. Tackling this issue involves altering the mindset of public. This needs to happen via refurbishment of the buildings by government in order to enhance the interest of public in these. For example, government authorities should make these sites look attracting by carrying out necessary renovations like wall painting, establishing new sculptures, et cetera. Also, government should provide the facilities like discount on tickets or parking while entering these buildings. That is why; proper steps are needed to be taken by the authorities to broaden the number of visitors. In conclusion, this essay discussed the reason as to why the number of local visitors is generally less than out-of-towner and suggested some possible solutions to overcome this issue. However, in my opinion, until efforts are made this trend will only escalate.
Museums and historical places are one of the most visited sites by tourists every year as they depict the history and cultural heritage of a particular region.
However
, it has
been noticed
that such premises are
generally
visited by holidaymakers whereas the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. This essay will discuss the reason why it is happening and put forward a solution for this issue.

Two major factors are behind the declination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. The
first
is the gradual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the trend and mindset opted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
youngsters. In this contemporary world of modernization, individuals tend to spend their spare time with their friends and family by visiting public places like shopping malls, theaters,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider them to be more entertaining whereas historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
to be monotonous. The second factor is the hectic schedule of all age groups. Whenever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free time, they prefer to pass it by sitting at their homes
rather
than going out anywhere, whereas the tourists already have a spare time to schedule their visits to these places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Museums and other history-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among tourists than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
folks.

Tackling this issue involves altering the mindset of public. This needs to happen via refurbishment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in order to enhance the interest of public in these.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these sites look attracting by carrying out necessary renovations like wall painting, establishing new sculptures,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide the facilities like discount on tickets or parking while entering these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
That is
why; proper steps
are needed
to
be taken
by the authorities to broaden the number of visitors.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the reason as to why the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors is
generally
less than
Possible spelling mistake found.
out-of-towner
and suggested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to overcome this issue.
However
, in my opinion, until efforts
are made
this trend will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
escalate.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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