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nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v.1

nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v. 1
It is true that only foreigners take interest to visit museums and historical places these days. High ticket prices and lack of interest can be the reasons for the low number of local visitors than foreigners, which can be overcome by giving additional benefits such as low entry fees to locals and organising events at these places. To begin with, high ticket prices is a serious contributor to this low number of local visitors. For most of the sight-seeing places, the entry fees are not in proportion to the average salary of the locals. So it is only foreign travelers who can afford to buy tickets at such a high price. For example, the entry fees for Tajmahal, one of the seven wonders of the world, is 1000 Indian rupees, which is more than the daily income for an average Indian. Furthermore, the lack of interest to visit such places is another vital factor contributing to the low turnaround of locals. Many of them would have already studied about these places during their schooling. So they may find it redundant to visit and listen to the same stories again. A possible solution to this problem can be the entry fee can be lowered for local visitors or these places can wave entry fees on weekends. This will encourage more people to come into these museums and historical places. Moreover, these places and can be made the centre of attraction to local people by organising various events on festivals. For example, Dussehra, which is one of the most famous festivals of india, can be celebrated at historical places. Museums can also plan exhibitions of artefacts and artwork in the festival season. This will attract many people to visit these places. in conclusion, less interest and expensive entry passes are the reasons in the reduction of local visitors. Solution to this problem lies in the hands of management authorities of these places.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
foreigners take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
museums and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
these days. High ticket prices and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
can be the reasons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
than foreigners, which can
be overcome
by giving additional benefits such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
at these places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, high ticket prices is a serious contributor to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. For most of the sight-seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are not in proportion to the average salary of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
foreign travelers who can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
tickets at such a high price.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tajmahal
, one of the seven wonders of the world, is 1000 Indian rupees, which is more than the daily income for an average Indian.
Furthermore
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is another vital factor contributing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
turnaround of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them would have already studied about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
during their schooling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they may find it redundant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
and listen to the same stories again.

A possible solution to this problem can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
can
be lowered
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
or these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can wave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
on weekends. This will encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into these museums and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and can
be made
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of attraction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on festivals.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dussehra
, which is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
festivals of
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, can
be celebrated
at historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Museums can
also
plan exhibitions of
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and artwork in the festival season. This will attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these places.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
passes are the reasons in the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. Solution to this problem lies in the hands of management authorities of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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