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International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Thanks to the low-cost airline which makes it possible for many people to travel around the world. In my opinion, the benefits of tourism outweigh the disadvantages because not only does it provide employment opportunity for indigenous, but also assist with an increase in foreign reserve. Admittedly, there are many drawbacks to the tourism industry. One of them is water pollution. To elucidate, the majority of tourist travels around places such as beaches and monuments, they often leave disposal, waste such as containers and water bottles on the coast of beaches, which causes water pollution. For example, a recent survey by Harvard University reveals that 68% of water pollution is contributed by tourist visits. Another negative is the increase in the crime rate. Most rich tourist from other country tends to carry valuable items like costly mobile phones, laptops, credit cards, so there is a high probability that tourist can become victim easily by the local people. Despite the downsides, I believe that positive of tourism far outweigh the negatives. One of these is that it provides jobs to a local citizen. As tourist travel around the cities requires the hotel to stay, transport for travel and bars for enjoyment, all such areas require huge manpower to cater to them. Hence, we can say undeniably, tourism industry helps in creating employment for locals. The rise in forex reserve is another fundamental benefit which tourism brings. To exemplify, when international tourist visits to another country they have to exchange their currency with local currency to expenses locally by exploring different places, having food in a restaurant or staying in hotels. The amount spent by them rotates in the economy, which helps in the financial growth of the country. In conclusion, even though tourism industry has many downsides, I think that creating employment opportunities for locals and a rise in the financial economy are important factors.
Thanks to the low-cost airline which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
around the world. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
outweigh the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it provide employment opportunity for indigenous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist with an increase in foreign reserve.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry. One of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. To elucidate, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
around places such as beaches and monuments, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
disposal, waste such as containers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bottles on the coast of beaches, which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution.
For example
, a recent survey by Harvard University reveals that 68% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution
is contributed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visits. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
is the increase in the crime rate. Most rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
from other country tends to carry valuable items like costly mobile phones, laptops, credit cards,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is a high probability that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
can become victim
easily
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite the downsides, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
far outweigh the negatives. One of these is that it provides jobs to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizen. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
around the cities requires the hotel to stay, transport for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and bars for enjoyment, all such areas require huge manpower to cater to them.
Hence
, we can say
undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in creating employment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. The rise in forex reserve is another fundamental benefit which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings. To exemplify, when international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visits to another country they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
exchange their currency with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
currency to expenses
locally
by exploring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places, having food in a restaurant or staying in hotels. The amount spent by them rotates in the economy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the financial growth of the country.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that creating employment opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and a rise in the financial economy are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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