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Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v.1

Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v. 1
The number of overweight people has increased in modern societies. The problem of obesity needs to be addressed due to the impacts it can have on society. The essay will look at the reasons this has happened and propose some solutions to this issue. One of the main reasons for this issue is that many people are too busy at work so they use the convenient food takeaway option. People do not have time and energy to take care of their diet, which results in eating too many calories. This issue could be addressed by raising the awareness of the foods people consume and by trying to promote healthier lifestyles which include incorporating daily exercise into one's routine. Another problem is that many children are likely to eat fast food after school as parents do not have time to look after them to eat much healthier. This is sometimes very easy to absorb high sugary drinks or high-fat snacks which causes children might lack nutrition. To tackle this problem, teachers could offer support to parents by providing them with the knowledge to make balanced meal plans and by encouraging their children to participate in sport activities. In conclusion, being obese is a worrying issue which affects both children and adults due to factors such as long work days, easy access to high-calorie foods or by lacking necessary exercise. Everyone has a role in tackling this problem and should aim to become healthier. Therefore, people should have a balanced lifestyle otherwise they could face serious health problems which develop from being overweight to obese.
The number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased in modern societies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of obesity needs to
be addressed
due to the impacts it can have on society.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
essay will look at the reasons this has happened and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to this issue.

One of the main reasons for this issue is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too busy at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
takeaway option.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not have time and energy to take care of their diet, which results in eating too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
calories. This issue could
be addressed
by raising the awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume and by trying to promote healthier lifestyles which include incorporating daily exercise into one's routine.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
after school as parents do not have time to look after them to eat much healthier. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to absorb high sugary drinks or high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
snacks which causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might lack nutrition. To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, teachers could offer support to parents by providing them with the knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balanced meal plans and by encouraging their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in sport activities.

In conclusion
, being obese is a worrying issue which affects both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adults due to factors such as long work days, easy access to high-calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or by lacking necessary exercise. Everyone has a role in tackling this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and should aim to become healthier.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have a balanced lifestyle
otherwise
they could face serious health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which develop from being overweight to obese.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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