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Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v.2

Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v. 2
It is comprehensible that in many parts of the word, travel between countries has become extremely popular due to the overwhelming amount of profit from this smokeless industry as a marked milestone. Personally, I wholly believe that the benefits still surpass the drawbacks in this situation. In spite of that fact that international tourism may result in a host of benefits to the development of regions, there are still some disadvantages. First of all, because tourist destinations witness a significant number of travelers. Consequently, the daily life of indigenous residents can be disturbed by several controversial issues such as the increase in crime rate, the disappearance of cultural identity and so on. Secondly, the development of travel does not only affect local residents but it also exerts an adverse influence on the locations where travelers visit. Vietnam perfectly exemplifies this circumstance, Son Doong cave is a popular location in this country but after the tourists visit too much, natural landscape has been somewhat affected by tourism activities. I am convinced that there are still a great number of benefits from international travel. Because of the globalization, it facilitates overseas tourists to travel to other countries. There is no doubt that local destinations can become popular in the world and it is an effective way to promote the image of nations. Additionally, if the number of travelers increase dramatically, it can make an outstanding contribution to the income of citizens as well as government budget. The local authorities can allocate money to improve their infrastructure, thereby making the tourism of their countries could develop further. For instance, china attract a large number of travelers every years and they use money from these tourism activities effectively to improve their society. In conclusion, although international tourism still has some potential disadvantages, I strongly agree that the benefits outperform the drawbacks in this case. However, the governments should figure out some viable solutions to maintained the sustainable development of travel in their nations.
It is comprehensible that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has become
extremely
popular due to the overwhelming amount of profit from this smokeless industry as a marked milestone.
Personally
, I wholly believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
still
surpass the drawbacks in this situation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
that fact that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
may result in a host of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the development of regions, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
tourist destinations witness a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
.
Consequently
, the daily life of indigenous residents can
be disturbed
by several controversial issues such as the increase in crime rate, the disappearance of cultural identity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect local residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
exerts an adverse influence on the locations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
visit. Vietnam
perfectly
exemplifies this circumstance, Son
Possible spelling mistake found.
Doong
cave is a popular location in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the tourists visit too much, natural landscape has been somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
activities.

I
am convinced
that there are
still
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the globalization, it facilitates overseas tourists to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. There is no doubt that local destinations can become popular in the world and it is an effective way to promote the image of nations.
Additionally
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
increase
dramatically
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an outstanding contribution to the income of citizens
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget. The local authorities can allocate money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their infrastructure, thereby making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could develop
further
.
For instance
, china attract a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelers
every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
activities
effectively
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their society.

In conclusion
, although international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential disadvantages, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
outperform the drawbacks
in this case
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions
Did you mean "to maintain"?
to maintained
the sustainable development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in their nations.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Task 2 International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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