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International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
The global travel industry has witnessed a massive growth in the recent decade, attributable to the rise of the low-cost carrier business model. As a result, nations around the world are embracing international tourism as an essential source of economic growth. I believe the advantages of welcoming foreign tourists far outweigh the corresponding disadvantages as long as certain risks are adequately controlled. Tourism has long been the lifeblood of many economies around the world as well as a tool to carry out international politics. The money that foreign travelers bring to another country creates vital short-term and long-term impacts. In the short-term, the expenses paid by tourists go directly to the local populace, improving their livelihood. Thailand probably serves as the best example as many coastal cities such as Pattaya or Phuket have become a heaven for people who want to make a good living. In the long-term, private companies, sensing income opportunities, will heavily invest funds into the country, region, or city. These funds will further boost the wealth of the nation. Besides, tourism also plays an integral part in maintaining a balance in global politics by making countries closer and friendlier to each other. The relationship between Vietnam and Korea clearly illustrates how two countries can move from foes to friends by promoting each other’s tourism industry. Nothing comes without some drawbacks. The growth in international travel has brought up many concerns regarding environmental damages, health issues, and criminal activities. The influx of people to a new destination often creates monumental challenges in waste management. In 2018, the situation was so dire that the government of the Philippines had to shut down Boracay, a hugely attractive traveling destination, for six months to clean out the trash. Airborne diseases, such as SARS or MERS, are also spread faster due to tourism. It is also notable that crime rates have risen sharply in popular holiday spots. However, all of the stated problems can be well handled if governments and nations around the world can cooperate efficiently to promote positive tourism practices. For example, the Southeast Asian countries have created a shared database of people with health risk to track contagious disease movements around the region. In conclusion, increased tourism will bring about great positive benefits despite certain containable shortcomings. It is expected that countries and companies around the world will further direct their efforts to promote the travel industry.
The global travel industry has witnessed a massive growth in the recent decade, attributable to the rise of the low-cost carrier business model.
As a result
, nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are embracing international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as an essential source of economic growth. I believe the advantages of welcoming foreign tourists far outweigh the corresponding disadvantages as long as certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are
adequately
controlled.

Tourism has long been the lifeblood of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as well
as a tool to carry out international politics. The money that foreign travelers bring to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
creates vital short-term and long-term impacts. In the short-term, the expenses paid by tourists go
directly
to the local populace, improving their livelihood. Thailand
probably
serves as the best example as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
coastal cities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pattaya
or Phuket have become a heaven for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living. In the long-term, private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, sensing income opportunities, will
heavily
invest funds into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, region, or city. These funds will
further
boost the wealth of the nation.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
also
plays an integral part in maintaining a balance in global politics by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
closer and friendlier to each other. The relationship between Vietnam and Korea
clearly
illustrates how two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from foes to friends by promoting each other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry.

Nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. The growth in international travel has brought up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns regarding environmental damages, health issues, and criminal activities. The influx of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to a new destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
creates monumental challenges in waste management. In 2018, the situation was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dire that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the Philippines had to shut down
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boracay
, a
hugely
attractive traveling destination, for six months to clean out the trash. Airborne diseases, such as SARS or MERS, are
also
spread faster due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. It is
also
notable that crime rates have risen
sharply
in popular holiday spots.
However
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
stated problems can be well handled if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can cooperate
efficiently
to promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
practices.
For example
, the Southeast Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have created a shared database of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
contagious disease movements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the region.

In conclusion
, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will bring about great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits despite certain containable shortcomings. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
further
direct their efforts to promote the travel industry.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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