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As international travel becomes cheaper, more and more countries are opening their doors to an increasing number of tourists. Do you think the advantages of increased tourism to these countries outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

As international travel becomes cheaper, more and more countries are opening their doors to an increasing number of tourists. Do you think the advantages of increased tourism to these countries outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Recent years, with the development of globalization, international travel becomes more convenient and more affordable, which leads to an increasing number of countries encouraging tourism. From my perspective, I think the benefits outweigh the challenges brought by this phenomenon. There is no doubt that increased tourism plays a pivotal role in boosting domestic economy during the modern age. It is generally recognized that the spending power of the tourists, international travelers in particular, is highly strong. For instance, visitors have to spend certain amount of money on accommodation, transportation, restaurant, and so forth. That is to say, the demand for related goods and services contributes to the development of leisure industry in the local countries. As a result, the government revenue would increase considerably. Furthermore, encouraging tourism can provide a number of job opportunities, which could improve local citizen’s life quality. In some developing countries, people live a poor and miserable life because of high unemployment rate. However, if the countries are capable of developing tourism, a number of new jobs would be created, including tour guide, shop sales and so on. Thus, local citizens would have higher opportunity to get employed and live a better life. It cannot be denied that these benefits do not come without drawbacks. For one thing, local tradition and places of interests are likely to be damaged with the number of visitors increasing. Some travelers are not equipped with the awareness of protecting local historical sites and heritage. In fact, it is often reported that some visitors tend to touch, rub or even hit the statue or sculpture in the scenery attractions. For another, tourists company may over-exploit the natural resources in order to attract tourists, which may lead to serious environmental issues. In conclusion, it is true that there are some challenges such as the risk of damaging attractions and environment, but I believe that these drawbacks could be avoided by adopting effective measures. The benefits brought by this trend, on the other hand, are significant to the countries’ overall development. Therefore, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Recent years, with the development of globalization, international travel becomes more convenient and more affordable, which leads to an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the benefits outweigh the challenges brought by this phenomenon.

There is no doubt that increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays a pivotal role in boosting domestic economy during the modern age. It is
generally
recognized that the spending power of the tourists, international travelers
in particular
, is
highly
strong.
For instance
, visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend certain amount of money on accommodation, transportation, restaurant, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
That is
to say, the demand for related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services contributes to the development of leisure industry in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
revenue would increase
considerably
.
Furthermore
, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of job opportunities, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizen’s life quality. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a poor and miserable life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high unemployment rate.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are capable of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of new jobs would
be created
, including tour guide, shop sales and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens would have higher opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life.

It cannot
be denied
that these benefits do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without drawbacks. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tradition and places of interests are likely to
be damaged
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
travelers are not equipped with the awareness of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
historical sites and heritage. In fact, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reported that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
visitors tend to touch, rub or even hit the statue or sculpture in the scenery attractions. For another, tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may over-exploit the natural resources in order to attract tourists, which may lead to serious environmental issues.

In conclusion
, it is true that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of damaging attractions and environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that these drawbacks could
be avoided
by adopting effective measures. The benefits brought by this trend,
on the other hand
, are significant to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
overall
development.
Therefore
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay As international travel becomes cheaper, more and more countries are opening their doors to an increasing number of tourists. Do you think the advantages of increased tourism to these countries outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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