Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. v. 2
Nowadays, the travel industry has involved significantly and more tourists travel abroad. However, these trips developed bias in the tourists towards the culture, and the locals do not find this comfortable. In this essay I intend to delve into the cases of this situation and suggest some ways to alleviate the problem. One of the major causes of this issue is the media portrayal of specific countries, places, and people, which led to the prejudices of the travellers about the local. Recently, some reviewers to the cultures in the media only witness the superficial problems, not really at the core. There will be a misunderstanding between the positive and negative effects of the traditions if the media does not clarify them. Another reason which can be included is the nationalistic view of the countries. The mindsets between the developed and the developing countries are very different, so when the foreigners come to Vietnam, for example, they will have their thinking about the pollution, the traffic, causing the bad images of the countries. To tackle the problem, methods can be ruled out and awareness is the only cure to break the stereotypes. For this, interactions amongst the local people and tourists must be rallied by encouraging home stays so that the differences between the reality and media can come to the surface. Also, tour operators should take the onus of guiding tourists about the main things of local culture and educate the tourists about the area values and culture so that they have a deep understanding and empathized look. To sum up, overseas travelling can bring the negative actions to the locals. However, we can fix the issue if we are tolerant enough to empathize the people.
Nowadays, the travel industry has involved
significantly
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
travel abroad.
However
, these trips developed bias in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
do not find this comfortable. In this essay I intend to delve into the cases of this situation and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to alleviate the problem.

One of the major causes of this issue is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
portrayal of specific countries, places, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which led to the prejudices of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reviewers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
witness the superficial problems, not
really
at the core. There will be a misunderstanding between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the traditions if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
does not clarify them.

Another reason which can
be included
is the nationalistic view of the countries. The mindsets between the developed and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when the foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to Vietnam,
for example
, they will have their thinking about the pollution, the traffic, causing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
images of the countries.

To tackle the problem, methods can
be ruled
out and awareness is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cure to break the stereotypes. For this, interactions amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be rallied
by encouraging home stays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the differences between the reality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the surface.
Also
, tour operators should take the onus of guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
about the main things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
about the area values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have a deep understanding and empathized look.

To sum up, overseas travelling can bring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
actions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the issue if we are tolerant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to empathize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts