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Task 1- Why do you think it is hard for university student to manage time? Please give your opinion and explanation using specific examples and details. v.1

Task 1- Why do you think it is hard for university student to manage time? Please give your opinion and explanation using specific examples and details. v. 1
Government should not waste money on arts due to the reason that they do not help in uplifting the living conditions of the general public, as suggested by a few. I disagree to this narrative and believe that the arts are also important because they not only keep the cultural identity of a community alive rather they also serve as a source of entertainment for the general public and help to create awareness regarding different social evils. It is accepted that the government ought to spend more money and resources to provide the basic facilities like health, education and food for its citizens. This is because offering food, shelter, safe drinking water and free treatment to people are those basic human rights without which no community or country can label itself as a welfare state. Therefore, it is understandable that more attention and resources should be diverted towards these welfare projects. This, however, does not mean that arts is not valuable or should not be encouraged by the government at all. Arts in its various forms like painting, music and theatres are a great asset to have. Firstly, arts through various cultural shows and heritage exhibitions help to keep the culture of that nation alive and also serve as a mean to pass it on to the next generations. Stop funding such cultural events will probably result in the cultural demise of a civilisation over some time. Secondly, artists through their artistic masterpieces like paintings, music and theatre amuse millions of the people. Lack of the government support to these artworks will presumably deprive many people from the only entertainment they have in their lives out of their hectic work schedule. Lastly, painting exhibitions and theatres are being increasingly used, nowadays, to highlight the prevailing social issues of a local society. Pictures made by the artists and the theatres have been an important media tool to create awareness and divert the attention of the masses towards many communal problems that have never been taken into consideration by the general public. Therefore, loss of the financial support of these artistic works that are unable to survive without the government support can bring an end to many social forums of this kind. To conclude, I consider that the arts have a major role in our daily lives in the form of protecting local heritage and cultural identity of a nation, providing entertainment and a social platform to present social issues to the general public. It is, therefore, recommended that the government should spend on basic necessities, but not at the cost of the artwork.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should not waste money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
due to the reason that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in uplifting the living conditions of the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, as suggested by a few. I disagree to this narrative and believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identity of a community alive
rather
they
also
serve as a source of entertainment for the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create awareness regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
evils.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to spend more money and resources to provide the basic facilities like health, education and food for its citizens. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
offering food, shelter, safe drinking water and free treatment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are those basic human rights without which no community or country can label itself as a welfare state.
Therefore
, it is understandable that more attention and resources should
be diverted
towards these welfare projects.

This,
however
, does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not valuable or should not
be encouraged
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
at all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
in its various forms like painting, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
are a great asset to have.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
through various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and heritage exhibitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the culture of that nation alive and
also
serve as a mean to pass it on to the
next
generations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stop
funding such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will
probably
result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
demise of a
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time.
Secondly
, artists through their artistic masterpieces like paintings, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
amuse millions of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Lack of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support to these artworks will presumably deprive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertainment they have in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
out of their hectic work schedule.
Lastly
, painting exhibitions and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
are being
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, nowadays, to highlight the prevailing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues of a local society. Pictures made by the artists and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
have been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
media tool to create awareness and divert the attention of the masses towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communal problems that have never
been taken
into consideration by the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
Therefore
, loss of the financial support of these artistic works that are unable to survive without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support can bring an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
forums of this kind.

To conclude
, I consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have a major role in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the form of protecting local heritage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identity of a nation, providing entertainment and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform to present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues to the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. It is,
therefore
, recommended that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend on
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the cost of the artwork.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1- Why do you think it is hard for university student to manage time? Please give your opinion and explanation using specific examples and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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