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Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v.1

Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v. 1
The subjects that need to be studied at universities is debatable. Some people claim students must choose the subjects of their interest, however, others feel only those subjects related to science and technology, which are of help in future must be considered at universities. This essay will discuss both the aspects and explain why it is superior to allow pupils to make a choice of subjects of their interest. On one side, if the learners choose what they want to study at university, then they stay focused to achieve what they want. In other words, when students decide their field of interest and work on it they become successful. For instance, I opted to study English at university, instead of mathematics and hence I enjoy my profession now. Moreover, every student has their own level of intelligence and accordingly, they must be at freedom to make a choice of subject that appeals. Therefore, only those students who choose to follow their passion are bound to be successful. On the other side, if all the students are forced to consider only science and technology related subjects, then there might be some who are not passionate in this field. Further, such students might fail in formal examinations. For instance, a recent study at Harvard university states that around 45% of the people do not enjoy their work because of their wrong decision at universities. Moreover, other fields like arts, literature and languages are also equally important for the future. Overall, every student may not enjoy studying science and technology related subjects. In conclusion, although science and technology related subjects might be useful in future, it may not be appealing to everyone. Therefore, students must opt the most passionate subject to them, in order to become successful in future.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that need to
be studied
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their interest,
however
, others feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which are of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This essay will discuss both the aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is superior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
pupils to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their interest.

On one side, if the learners choose what they want to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, then they stay focused to achieve what they want. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide their field of interest and work on
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they become successful.
For instance
, I opted to study English at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
instead
of mathematics and
hence
I enjoy my profession
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Moreover
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level of intelligence and
accordingly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be at freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that appeals.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who choose to follow their passion
are bound
to be successful.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, then there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who are not passionate in this field.
Further
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might fail in formal examinations.
For instance
, a recent study at Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
states that around 45% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not enjoy their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields like arts, literature and languages are
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Overall
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may not enjoy studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
subjects.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
might be useful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, it may not be appealing to everyone.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
opt the most passionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to them, in order to become successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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