Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Lectures were used in the past with many students. With modern technology available for education, there is no justification for this way of teaching. v.2

Lectures were used in the past with many students. With modern technology available for education, there is no justification for this way of teaching. v. 2
As the industrial revolution and technology increases, the machines and robots became real and those have been dominating many parts of our life. This change has several benefits but also, there are some serious disadvantages. The first of disadvantage is that mankind's jobs are losing by robots. Most of companies and factories use more machines than hire people; those can work the whole day and more cheaply than a person. In my view, after 50 years, most of career will be destroyed by them. Second, due to increasing the rate of losing jobs, also average earning money per each person will decrease. Everyone's lives will be harder than a high-tech century. Lastly, the rate of birth is going to decrease; people do not need to earn money and go outside. So, after 5 decades, maybe the number of mankind will be half than now. On the other hand, the first benefit is that companies/factories can reduce their money because using them is cheaper, so they will concentrate to make a higher quality and low price things from the factory. Secondly, in agriculture, the farmers can use them; they can cultivate a lot of crops than before, as a result of it, the cost of crops will decrease. Then, we can buy crops in cheaper price. Lastly, our activities during leisure time will improve such as games, movies, dramas. We can enjoy our break time more relax even babies, elder citizens and families. In conclusion, the industrial revolution is making our life better, however there are also dangers. Please be careful to use them and develop the level of life.
As the industrial revolution and technology increases, the machines and robots became real and those have been dominating
many
parts of our life. This
change
has several benefits
but
also
, there are
some
serious disadvantages.

The
first
of disadvantage is that mankind's jobs are losing by robots. Most of
companies
and factories
use
more machines than hire
people
;
those can
work the whole day and more
cheaply
than a person. In my view, after 50 years,
most of career
will be
destroyed
by them. Second, due to increasing the rate of losing jobs,
also
average earning money per each person will decrease. Everyone's
lives
will be harder than a high-tech century.
Lastly
, the rate of birth is going to decrease;
people
do not need to earn money and go outside.
So
, after 5 decades, maybe the number of mankind will be half than
now
.

On the other hand
, the
first
benefit is that
companies
/factories can
reduce
their money
because
using them is cheaper,
so
they will concentrate to
make
a higher quality and low price things from the factory.
Secondly
, in agriculture, the farmers can
use
them; they can cultivate
a lot of
crops than
before
,
as a result
of it, the cost of crops will decrease. Then, we can
buy
crops in cheaper price.
Lastly
, our activities during leisure time will
improve
such as games, movies, dramas. We can enjoy our break time more relax even babies, elder citizens and families.

In conclusion
, the industrial revolution is making our life better,
however
there are
also
dangers
.

Please
be careful to
use
them and develop the level of life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Lectures were used in the past with many students. With modern technology available for education, there is no justification for this way of teaching. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts