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Someone believes school should put students of different ages into the same class What is your opinion v.2

Someone believes school should put students of different ages into the same class What is your opinion v. 2
There is an idea to make mixed-age class in school, regardless gender or other considerations. Personally, I think it is the worst suggestion that I have ever known. I will explain my opinions below. First and foremost, crucial part of human growth is mental health, which is the reason that always in the essential social topics. Causing many inside problems of adults is that they were treated unfairly in their early age. My parents hoped I could join primary school more early so they decided to send me there when I was younger. People around me in the classroom laughed at me all the time just because I was younger that all of them, some of them even forced me to shut up regardless what I said. I was getting better after I transferred to another school to have same aged students. That was my darkest time in my life span. Another worthy opinion related to this essay is that juveniles in contemporary society are much more sensitive than prior generations. If various ages of pupils are in the same class when teacher using same strategies or methods, it could have a terrible effect. For example, older students do not like treating them as young ones, especially using cute tones or playing immature games, resulting diversity in the class. Alternatively, It is for youngsters having early social skills, if they have some other age classmates. The concern is that the application is must from pupil themselves and under long-term observation of school and family. In conclusion, I strongly believe it is the right education method to let students gain knowledge with same age classmates.
There is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mixed-age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, regardless gender or other considerations.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the worst suggestion that I have ever known. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinions below.

First
and foremost, crucial part of human growth is mental health, which is the reason that always in the essential social topics. Causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inside problems of adults is that they
were treated
unfairly
in their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. My parents hoped I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
more early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me there when I was younger.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around me in the classroom laughed at me all the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was younger that all of them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them even forced me to shut up regardless what I said. I was getting better after I transferred to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to have same aged students. That was my darkest time in my life span.

Another worthy opinion related to this essay is that juveniles in contemporary society are much more sensitive than prior generations. If various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of pupils are in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
when teacher using same strategies or methods, it could have a terrible effect.
For example
, older students do not like treating them as young ones,
especially
using cute tones or playing immature games, resulting diversity in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Alternatively
, It is for youngsters having early social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
classmates. The concern is that the application is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
from pupil themselves and under long-term observation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and family.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe it is the right education method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
students gain knowledge with same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
classmates.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Someone believes school should put students of different ages into the same class What is your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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